Page 73 of Red Hot Roaster

I always worry.

Me

See you. Soonish.

I was too nervous to eat, but I didn’t share that with Rafe.

Chapter 36

Rose

Islipped in the side door of the roastery, locking it behind me. Rafe stared, blank-faced, from his post by the roaster while I walked across to the hallway door and locked that one too.

Turning, I leaned back and took a big breath. I was trying to be calm, cool and collected…and failing miserably. My heart was thumping, my throat was dry, and my legs were shaking. I considered fanning my face but kept my hand glued to my side.

I’d called this meeting, even practiced my opening lines in the bathroom mirror. Yet here I was…stuck. The woman who could—and did—chat nonstop to anyone about anything at any time was stuck when it came to the most important conversation of her life.

It isn’t like I’m going to let loose with the L word, right?

Rafe crossed his arms, biceps bulging under his tight black T-shirt. His face gave nothing away. If anything, he looked more guarded than ever. His sculpted lips pressed in a flat line. His cobalt eyes glinted under his hooded gaze. His dark brows clenched in a frown.

The only movement? His jaw flexing like he was grinding his teeth.

Gone was my intense, passionate, lingering lover of last night.Did I dream theentirething?

When I finally got the courage to open my mouth, Rafe unfolded his arms and pushed one hand toward me.

“Wait,” he said gruffly. “This is gonna be hard enough without us facing off across the room.”

I sucked in a breath and solved my heart-thumping problem right then and there. Because my heart stopped. Well, almost. A sluggish beat later, my throat clogged up, and tears pricked the corners of my eyes.

I had to admit it, I was a crier. Happy or sad moments—when Finn was born, losing Dad so suddenly, saying goodbye to Mom. Touching moments on social media—soldiers seeing families after a long time, rescue pets realizing they’re going to their forever homes, new dads cuddling their babies. Also, when I was tired or scared or laughing out of control. And sometimes, I cried walking around in the rain, when I could let it all out.

However, this was a first for frustrated…no…was thatangrycrying?

I needed to get a grip. I needed to get control of myself if I had any hope of telling Rafe what was in my heart—and finding out what was in his. I blinked my tears back—fast.

“You’re right,” I agreed. “I locked the doors so we wouldn’t be interrupted…or so one of us couldn’t escape.”

Rafe said zip, zilch, nada.So much for humor to lighten the situation.

“Let’s sit at the cupping table. Side by side-ish. It’s kinda neutral territory—right?”

Okay. I was rethinking the whole “roastery meet-up” thing right now. What with our history in this place—the rough feel of the burlap bean bags on my rear, the smooth coolness of the round oak table on my back.

Rafe seemed unaffected by these memories as he took a seat—two stools around from mine—at the table. Still, he wasn’tcategorically oppositefrom my seat—he was justbarelyout of reach. Thank heavens for small favors.

I clasped my hands and held on for dear life, my knuckles whitening.Why is this so hard? It’s not like you’re telling the guy you love him…yet.

Taking a big breath, I raised my head and met him stare for stare. “I’ll go first. I know we started out with the idea of acting on our attraction for each other—nothing more.”

I swallowed and gripped my hands even harder. “Now I’ve come to realize Idowant to see if thereissomethingmore. Something more between us than the obvious physical push-pull.”

Rafe shifted like he was going to interrupt. This time, I held upmyhand in the universal “stop” motion.

“Let me get through this. Please.”

He stilled, and I went on. “This fall, only two months really, was not enough to find out what we could have together. And I’ve been a mess, what with Mom’s loss, Finn off to college and all my worries about the café going under.”

---