Page 64 of Red Hot Roaster

She grabbed a spare Chocolate Lab apron off a hook and handed it to me. For our cover story, I reached up to get a huge platter off the top shelf of the pantry, and we strolled out into the kitchen.

After Mateo, Katt and some of the kids took the dogs out back to do their business, after Finn carved the turkey with Pete’s help, after plates were piled high on the chow line, we sat down to dinner. A seat for everyone at the same table, even if a couple were upturned planters. Someone thought to bring a high chair for their toddler.

Turned out—unlike the army where everyone fell on their food like ravenous dogs and unlike my few foster families who made even meager attempts at holidays—Rose’s home had an important tradition.

It happened before anybody picked up a fork. The oldest and youngest guests got things rolling with a blessing. This year, Miss Ada and Liam’s little girl, a real cutie—couldn’t be more than four or five—did the honors.

Meggie climbed on the old lady’s lap and snuggled under her chin. Miss Ada started off, and Meggie repeated each line. Both voices were soft, and the little girl stumbled over a few words. No matter. The rest of us were quiet, even the toddler in his highchair and the dogs under our feet.

Dear earth who gives to us this food,

Dear sun who makes it ripe and good,

For the meal we are about to eat,

For those past and present whose efforts made it possible,

For family and friends who share this bounty today,

We are thankful.

Maybe we were supposed to say “amen” or something at the end. Instead, we applauded. Meggie got shy and hid her face while Miss Ada smiled around the table. Liam reclaimed his daughter, and we all dug in.

After a few bites, I lowered my head, trying to catch Rose’s eyes across the table. There’d been wet streaks down her cheeks during the blessing, and she’d squeezed Finn’s hand so hard her knuckles had turned white. She was still quiet, pushing food around on her plate and sipping from her wineglass. Her neighbors were busy talking around her, letting her be for now.

I didn’t want to yell over the hubbub to get her attention, so I stretched out my leg past Princess to nudge her in the ankle.

Except I got Pirate instead, who yelped and surged up. Only to bump his damned domed head on the underside of the table and rattle the plates and glasses in front of Rose and Finn. Princess reacted and did the same on my side. Nothing fell over, but not for lack of trying on both their parts.

We stuck our hands under the table to grab their collars and shouted at the same time, “Calm down, you big babies! You’re fine.”

The table erupted. “Did somebody drop their plate?” “Oooh…watch the wine bottle…it’s tipsy!” “Are you guys okay?” “Mom?” And barking, lotsa barking.

Rose met my eyes, shook her head and started laughing.

I laughed back.There she is.

After everyone settled down and finished their dinner, after big plates were exchanged for small plates with both pieandempanadas for some of us, after leftovers were shared out, most people started heading out the door.

Rose and Finn stood in the front entry hall, giving and getting hugs. Never saw a group exercise so much physical contact, outside of my fighting days. I almost escaped, standing on the edge of things.

“Young man, I need your help getting home.” Miss Ada clutched my arm and thrust leashes into my free hand. She kept her giant handbag, jammed with plastic containers, hooked on her elbow. Must’ve weighed a ton, the way she was listing to one side.

“Yes, ma’am, of course. Why don’t you let me carry your bag too.” Not making it a question, I slipped the bulky damned thing from her elbow to mine.

Miss Ada hugged my arm again, and I muttered, “quiet, you two” to her bickering dogs. We walked out the door, down the porch steps and up the block toward her house.

When I returned, I found Rose in the middle of the kitchen, directing cleanup traffic. A big crew had stayed behind—besides Finn and Lauren, there were Mateo, Jean-Luc, Pete, Katt and even a couple of Finn’s buddies.

So…enough of this shit.

I marched over to Rose and interrupted her mid-order, “You and I are gonna take the dogs out for their walk. Grab your jacket—it’s cool out but not raining.”

She opened her mouth…and closed it when I reached around her to loosen the strings, pull the apron over her head and toss it on the counter.

I turned to Finn and said, “Leave the roasting pan for me to scrub out when we get back. I can take the trash bags over to the café’s dumpster too.”

He smiled.The boy had Rose’s sweet smile. “Nah, we got this, man. Right, guys?” Everyone else closed their mouths, smiled and nodded too.

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