Page 102 of Play With Me

“I thought you would come to the crash site,” I said.

Lola’s eyes were red and swollen, but she still looked like a beautiful woman, and so I walked up to her and took her into my arms, holding her against me.

“I didn’t want to fly and stress out, and if I drove it would have taken too long, and I wouldn’t make it back home.”

“You’ve been home?” I lifted her chin with the tip of my finger, and when I saw the happy glow in her eyes, I somewhat relaxed.

“Doctor’s orders.”

“Is everything okay?”

“It is now that you’re here.”

We stood there for a moment, holding each other, until I finally asked her, “You read the file?”

She nodded, and I guided us both to the bench at the foot of the two graves.

“Where’s Sophie? I wanted to wish her happy birthday.”

“I asked her to wait in the car with Storm. I wasn’t sure you were ready to see us. I’m not sure that I’m ready to talk about that day or make sense of it all, but there’s more to the story. There’s more to what’s in that file.”

I passed her a tissue so she could blow her nose.

“Emma mentioned you’ll have my information. She likes to stick her nose in my business sometimes but she means well.”

“She does. I remember a little. Actually, I remember now more than I thought I did, I just couldn’t find a way to talk about it. Sebastian didn’t die in vain. He saved you, and he saved my baby.”

She gasped. “You saw him? Did you talk to him before he died?”

After another stream of tears and three more tissues, I said, “I never told this to anyone, because… because I couldn’t, but I remember that day so clearly now. I saw everything happening around me, and I was so helpless.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“Not the accident, no, but the decisions I made will haunt me for the rest of my life. I was trapped in a mangle of car seats and metal, but I saw everything. I don’t remember faces, but I remember what happened. You were right. Sebastian was a hero. Your car was burning, and it took a few minutes before your husband regained consciousness.”

“They told me he died of internal injuries. They said he must have had an adrenaline rush and saved some lives. They never told mewhoselives because of the investigation.”

That part was true. Sebastian was a hero, but Lola had no idea what I’d asked him to do that day. I continued, trying to get to the most difficult part. “He removed you from your car and did CPR until you regained consciousness.”

“I don’t remember that.”

“Maybe it’s better that you don’t. He came to our car next. Marissa had a significant head injury. There was blood everywhere. On her face and neck, streaming out of her ears and nose. I… I don’t know how, but I knew she wouldn’t make it.” As my memories from that day returned, I felt that pain of helplessness all over again. As if feeling my stress, Lola took my hand in hers.

“Sebastian took her out of the car. She was unconscious and not breathing, and we didn’t have much time. He tried CPR, but I couldn’t take the chance that something would happen to our baby girl. I couldn’t let them both die. I…”

It was still difficult to say the words. The guilt I’d felt for the past eight years over the actions I’d asked a dying man to make would never leave me. Although at the time, of course, I hadn’t known that he was dying.

“I asked him to cut my daughter out of my dying wife’s womb, and he did.”

Her body jerked, and by that point, I couldn’t hold on any longer, and for the first time since the accident, I broke down. Lola brought me to her chest, holding my head against her, comforting me as if I were the one who needed support. I did. I just didn’t know it. As soon as I heard the beating of her heart, I lifted my head, wiped my tears away, and squared my shoulders. “There’s more. Marissa was an organ donor. Her head trauma was bad; she wouldn’t have made it. But there’s part of her now that will always be with us.”

I lowered the zipper of Lola’s jacket and held my palm over her sweater, in the middle of her chest, where her heart was pounding against my hand.

“Me? She’s my donor?”

“Yeah.”

“Daddy?” Sophie called out, and we both turned around. She was standing in the middle of the snow-covered path with Storm sitting obediently beside her. Her gray coat and hat caught more and more snowflakes as they fell, and that’s when it hit me. That’s when I realized that the sole reason I not only needed to see Lola but also needed her in my life was standing right there, looking at us with her beautiful brown eyes. That’s when I realized that from now on, we would be all right. The three of us could find that piece of happiness and reason we’d been searching for. My daughter was about to get the best birthday gift of her life. She would finally get a chance to listen to her mother’s heart. Hand in hand, we walked around the bench and out to the path.

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