Page 12 of Play With Me

“What I tell you in private stays between us. Works stays aside. My job is my job, and your job is your job. You don’t use me, and I don’t use you.”

“But I want to use you, my queen.”

He came in for a harder kiss, and I squirmed. I hadn’t squirmed in a long time.

“And no background checks from either of us,” I said, between our lips.

He lifted me and I fell back to the mattress, that broken coil reminding me of our hot sex. Supporting himself on his elbows, Brook hovered over me, kissing my lips, my nose, and each of my cheeks.

“Got it. No background checks. I want to get to know you all on my own.”

There hadn’t been a man in my life since my accident, and truthfully, I never thought there would be one again. Especially since I wasn’t looking for one. What surprised me the most, though, was how much Brook got me. Spending time with him was easy. He was the perfect distraction from the heartaches of my past. They say that the best things in life were the ones that came unexpectedly, the way Brook had come into mine. I hoped they were right. Glancing at the sexy man above me, I prayed that they were right.

I trusted him and I believed him. There weren’t too many people in my life I could say that about. Something told me that he was worthy of at least a chance. I felt so drawn to him that I believed he could be the reason I was spared that day.

He seemed too perfect and too real, and I was afraid that this warm feeling in my chest meant I was falling for him.

If I was wrong, if the shoe did drop, I was afraid it would squish me like a bug.

And unless another miracle happened, I was afraid that this time, the damage would be irreversible.

Chapter 3

Brook: Four months later - New York

Isat on the bench in front of Marissa’s grave. It had been some time since I’d come here with the same heavy heart full of grief. It never got easier. The pain never faded, and the level of failure I felt on the inside compressed my chest every single time I thought back to that dreadful day.

I risked coming to the cemetery, but I couldn’t stay away any longer. My family had become haunted by an unpredictable crime lord, Aaron Cortez, but even so, I couldn’t avoid the cemetery for the rest of my life. Now that my life was falling apart and making sense at the same time, coming here felt right.

“I met someone,” I said. They were my first words since sitting down on the wooden bench. As if on command, the wind lifted with lazy strength, and the last of the birds chirped before the sun set. I lowered my head, took a deep breath, and for the first time in six years, opened up.

“She’s feisty. It feels like she should be more than a friend, so… well… I guess what I’m saying is that we’re together.”

Dating…

The word echoed in my mind. I couldn’t say it out loud. I couldn’t tell the woman I’d been in love with my entire life that my heart was confused. It hurt too much to acknowledge that I had to take that first step to moving on. It wasn’t even a step — more like a small hop. But the pull I felt toward Lola was unlike any other I felt.

“It’s complicated because we’re on the opposite sides of the country. Technically, we haven’t gone out on a date yet, but when I’m with her, it’s special.”

Very special.

At the memory of holding Lola in my arms, I felt the warmth and much-needed comfort. I wanted to tell Marissa how close we’d become. Having Lola in my bed was special. We didn’t exactly make love, but I wouldn’t call it fucking, either, because it felt like both at the same time. These past months of debating whether our long-distance relationship had a chance were messing with my head. Our sexting was no longer enough to satisfy my need for her. I was torn.

“It’s our jobs, you know. I’m not sure how we’d make it work, because, well, you know who I am, and Lola… Jesus, I haven’t even told her about Sophie.”

I waited for a reply, and when one didn’t come from the stone-cold grave at my feet, I continued, “I’m afraid she won’t like Sophie. She hates kids.”

The wind howled, mussing my hair. It held the promise of a cold winter, and at the moment, felt like a slap across my face. Only a coward would hide the existence of his child. I wasn’t ashamed of being a father. Sophie was the most important woman in my life. We shared secrets, and we laughed and cried together. She was smart, too. She took after her mother that way. In short, she was my life.

I pulled my fingers through the overgrown strands that fell over my eyes. Maybe I should have accepted Lola’s offer to cut my hair back in Pace; but fucking her at that moment seemed much more appropriate. I’d definitely sweat less with a shorter cut, but who had time for a haircut when you were trying to savor a few moments with a woman who consumed you?

I sighed.

“I’m failing at work. She pre-occupies my mind, and I’m not sure I can help Cameron as much as I originally thought.”

My brother was working undercover in Pace. As a priest.

He’s so going to pay for this.

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