Page 51 of Run with Me

“You sawhim?”

“Yes. I saw him at church. He was in a deep prayer.”

I smiled. Yes, that was definitely John. I knew he’d been praying hard forme.

“How washe?”

Xavier’s gaze shifted to the side, and I knew that he didn’t have good news. I felt my heart thump and the little one kick at the sametime.

“Sad. He looked almost lost, Anna. I think I saw him sobbing.”

My throat tingled with that funny sensation. I pressed my lips together to prevent my chin from shaking.

“When I saw him bearing so much pain, I almost talked tohim.”

I gasped.

“But I didn’t. I left him a note in the rectory. I wrote that quote from your parents’ crypt.”

“Xavier, thank you so much. Thank you!” I threw my arms around his neck. It was the first time since I left Pace that I knew that John knew I was trying to reachhim.

Xavier gently pulled away. “I don’t want to upset you, but I really do care for you, and I want you and the baby to be safe and happy. You’re not happy without John. The man I saw back in Pace was utterly broken. I wanted to tell him about you so badly.”

“But you didn’t.” I confirmed. My voice was barely a whisper. One part of me wished that he had, but another part, the one that feared for the life of my baby, wanted to remain hidden from everyone. John would have come for me. He would have searched for me until he found me, if he thought that was the best decision. Since he wasn’t looking, I trusted that the best decision was for him to stay in Pace. Ben would have followed him everywhere from the moment he realized I wasgone.

“Anna, I don’t know why, but something was off aboutJohn.”

“What do youmean?”

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while. I mean, you obviously love him, and I can’t imagine him not loving you back. But what puzzles me is that he hasn’t left Pace to look for you. He hasn’t even made an effort. If you were mine, I would have moved heaven and earth to find you. I think John’s looking out for you as well, but he’s doing so in a different way. Through prayer. I heard him pray, and I’ve never overheard the profoundly deep words that he spoke from anyone in my life. I truly believe that they were from his heart. He’s looking out for you, but differently. With God’shelp.”

It was because John thought that God would help me better than anyone else could. And he was right. With the help of his prayer, I’d found Mary, Jack, and Xavier.

“That’s the way John shows love,” Isaid.

“I don’t know, Anna. John looked like he was in grief. Deep grief.”

“It’s only been three months since we lost our son. Of course he’s grieving. We’ll both be grieving for a long time. I just have to take a little pause, so that I don’t stress ourbaby.”

“I know what the loss of a child feels like. This was deeper.”

I couldn’t imagine anything deeper, so what Xavier was saying wasn’t making much sense.

“It was something else, and I couldn’t figure out what itwas.”

My heart ached. Had I made a mistake? Have I stayed away from John too long? I needed him so much and I knew that he needed me aswell.

“He was grieving.” I whispered.

“He was more than grieving, Anna. He looked like he reached his limit. He looked like he was ready to give up onlife.”

In that instant, I could see how wrong I’d been. I’d been in New York for too long. My baby deserved her father. That was the moment I knew I had to do whatever I could to set things right between me and John. I had to goback.

“There’s something else, Anna.”

My head flew up. I waited for the second bomb that was about to drop. At least that’s what I anticipated from the somber look on Xavier’sface.

“Ben’s spreading rumors around town that Mikey washis.”

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