Page 73 of Sin With Me

“How do I move pastit?”

Because I sure as hell didn’t think that I could. Worse yet, I didn’t want to. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw us. Each time I heard his voice, I’d remember his deep grunts and loud exhales as he plunged insideme.

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, and hope for tomorrow,” he quoted, and closed his eyes. A ribbon of light danced over his cheek as he gently moved with each breath. Keeping his eyes closed, he said, “My father’s last words to me before I left were to find hope; and sitting here it feels like I did, but I don’t quite know what to do withit.”

I couldn’t help but grin. He had found Hope. He’d foundme.

“Can I trust you? Can I truly trust you, Father Cameron?”

“Yes, Kate. Of course you can trustme.”

I let out a long breath. “‘Hold on to hope like it’s your lifeline.’ That’s what my mother always told me. That’s why she named me Hope. Kate is my middle name, after my grandmother, as you know. My first name’sHope.”

“NotKate?”

I shook myhead.

His eyes opened wide. Father Cameron turned toward me, resting his elbow on the back of the bench. “So you don’t usually go by Kate? Can I still call youKate?”

“I usually go by Hope.. My father, or I guess who I always thought was my father, called me Hope because he said that if there was anything in this world you couldn’t lose, it was hope. He got sentimental like that sometimes. I think it’s because he was raised in a fosterhome.”

“Really? So was my father. He always said it was the foundation that had made him a successful man. So… Hope Black,” hesaid.

“You’re the only one who knows me… ” I heard my own words slow down and take on a sensual meaning. I shouldn’t have been saying things like that to him. It would only become more difficult. This warm feeling I had in my chest for Father Cameron had to stop, and it had to stop now. “You’re the only one who knows who I am. I’m sorry. I never meant to misleadyou.”

“I feel like I’m getting to know you all over again, Hope Black. I think I like Kate better. It gives you an edge. What I’m trying to say is that I like you. I like you a lot, whether you’re Hope or Kate, and I’m not sure how to stop it. You’re finding your roots and your life is making much more sense, and that makes me happy for you. Hope.” He repeated my name and grinned.

“Are you thinking about me in a bikini?” I asked.

“No, I’m thinking about you withoutone.”

I gasped, and then resting my elbows on my knees, I lowered my head to my hands. “Cameron, what are we going todo?”

“You need to confess to FatherJohn.”

“But I’m not sorry.”

“Kate, you don’t know how much I want to tell you that what you did, what we did, is not as wrong as it seems. I’d do anything to take that guilt I know you’re feeling away, but I can’t. Only you can. I can’t expect you to trust me or to ever trust another priest again, and I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry I took that trust away fromyou.”

I lifted my head again and swept the tears off my cheeks with myhand.

“You weren’t the only one in that kitchen, were you? So don’t try to take all the blame on yourself. I’m as much to blame for what happened, if not more. Iseducedyou.”

He laughed and shook his head in amusement.

“So, what happens now? Do we just forget aboutit?”

If that was his choice, then how was I supposed to do that? How was I supposed to forget the way he held me in his arms, the way he kissed my neck and each of my breasts, and the way he felt when he was inside me? I wouldn’t, and I didn’t wantto.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” I sighed. “I’ll go see Father John today. I’m afraid he’ll figure it all out. I don’t want to get you into any trouble.”

“The only trouble I’m in is the one I create, so if it’s deserved, I won’t argue.”

“What if he takes your license away? Is there a priest license?”

“No,” he laughed.

“Then he’ll expel you from the church.”

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