Page 41 of Sin With Me

Chapter10

Kate

“Forgive me,Father, for I have sinned. It’s been two weeks since my last confession.”

My voice broke as I knelt in the confessional, and my heart hammered in my chest. It had been five months since I’d arrived in Pace, and I was beginning to miss my mother more than ever. When we spoke, or I spoke, I explained to her that she was safe and that I was getting closer to finding Jack. At the mention of his name, my mother always released a deep sigh of relief.

I still couldn’t believe that my mother had been born in the same town Mateo Cortez once occupied. The man I’d stolen from, and whose multimillion dollar operations I’d destroyed one of, could return to Pace any moment.

Father John answered in his non-judgmental voice, “Speak louder, child. I can barely hearyou.”

I hadn’t realized that my voice had lowered to a whisper. It was the same tone I used when I confessed to Father Cameron. God could still hear me, though, couldn’tHe?

“It’s been two weeks since my last confession,” I repeated, going over my sins in my mind. The only picture that appeared was one of a shirtless Father Cameron; and just like that, my naughty thoughts returned. Would Father John think less of me if I told him it was his apprentice whom I lusted after?

Grateful that it wasn’t Father Cameron on the other side of the confessional, I cleared my throat.

“These are mysins…”

I’m confessing to God, not Father John or Father Cameron,I reminded myself, and then proceeded to admit my wrong doings. All the sins about Father Cameron I’d manifested in my head flooded to the fore and spilled out of my mouth like dirty little secrets.

Since that morning I woke up to Father Cameron sitting in my room, our relationship had changed. He took care of me. Father Cameron had quickly become someone I could count on for both spiritual guidance and friendship. I was becoming a different woman around him, and my vulnerability scared me. We’d been organizing the attic with minimal progress, but at least it was progress.

Father John coughed into his tissue, and I wondered if his cold would return. He had finally managed to cure his three-month illness overnight and joined us for the retreat. It truly was a miracle that he was feeling better and a good lesson of faith for the kids, who had been praying for his recovery. As many wrongs as I’d done in my life, I was beginning to feel like the scale was tilting the other way. Maybe there was hope for me after all? Feeling ready to clear my heart, I smiled.

“These are all the sins I remember. I am truly sorry for all my sins, and I ask for the Lord’s forgiveness.”

I bowed my head, the way my mother taught me, and waited for my penance. That tight fear in my chest wouldn’t ease until I heard the Father’s absolution.

“I absolve you of your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”

I made the sign of the cross.

“Amen,” I breathed out in relief, and proceeded on to my act of contrition. If Father John had caught on to the vagueness of my sins, then he wasn’t saying anything. But neither did Father Cameron when I’d confessed to him two weeks ago. Did they mind that my sins became more obscure each time, or were they just pretending that they’d heard them? If they did hear them, then neither priest had ever let it be known.

Over the past couple of months, it had become more difficult to think of Father Cameron as a priest. How could I, when he looked like he breathed and slept on an aphrodisiac? Because I swear I could feel the sexual frustration floating around him. The long cloak he wore didn’t help; in fact, it made things worse, as my imagination took over. I mean, how hot could it get under one of those things? And heat meant a lot of sweat, which then meant a nice cool shower. Yeah, fantasizing about Father Cameron underneath a stream of water was definitely making me sin all over again. The line between his holy duties and those of a man’s blurred each time I wondered how he managed not to get sexually frustrated.

I was hot for a hot priest, and my symptoms of crazy were only getting worse.

“Go in peace.” Free of any emotion, his voice held an even tone, the way it alwaysdid.

I made the sign of a cross one last time and stepped out of the small wooden confessional in the camp’s chapel when a shocking scream tore through the woods. I ran out the chapel door and across the communal field toward the edge of the forest.

A herd of teenagers stood underneath an old spruce tree, buzzing with excitement.

I ran up to Lola and followed her gazeup.

“What happened?”

Another loud cry of fear echoed from above. Somewhere between all the spruce branches and needles, which were littering the ground from above, I saw a red sweatshirt.

“Oh, my God! How did he get up there?” I covered my mouth with my hand just as Father Cameron pushed past me through the crowd.

“Help me!” Matt yelledout.

“Stand back, everyone. In case… ” he paused, and I shut myeyes.

Please don’t say ‘in case he falls.’

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