Page 19 of Cowboy's Way

Once I hear his door close, I rise and go to the window, shifting the blinds just enough to catch a glimpse of him entering the barn with Bruno right on his heels. Even though my need is somewhat pressing, I wait until I see him walking down to his dock to use the bathroom.

After that, I wander around, looking for any cameras that could be tracking me. Curiosity draws me upstairs, but a quick look from the top steps tells me he’s left it completely empty. While some might find it creepy or weird, especially since I know he’s lived here for over five years, I find it refreshing.

Tore stuffed our homes with so much stuff that I often felt smothered, much preferring to be outside than in. Simply to escape the excess.

Of course, it fell to me to inspect each room of whichever home we were currently staying in a couple of times per week. Ensuring that each item was at the exact angle he wanted it and not incorrectly moved by our maids. That and making sure that there weren’t any odd semen stains he or his lover left behind.

It must be the freedom from all of Tore’s expensive items that has me dragging my feet on buying furniture for my home. Besides the kitchen of my dreams, I’ve only purchased a bed and an outdoor living room set.

The old couch that came with the house is still in the front room, which suits me, especially since all I seem to do there is talk to the tradesmen or treat myself to a one-woman dance party once they’ve left for the day.

As I make my way to his kitchen, I decide to help myself to a cup of coffee.

And that’s when it started, I think a couple of hours later when I’m standing frozen next to Logan’s front door, crying and laughing like a lunatic, wondering if I can make a run for it without Bruno thinking it’s a game.

His mugs were in a cabinet on the opposite side of the kitchen from his coffee maker. The cabinet above his coffee maker had boxes of noodles and ramen soup, for crying out loud!

All I could think was that the heat and the steam from the machine couldn’t be good for the dried food.

Then his silverware was in the absolute last place I looked. They were in canisters in a lower cabinet—what kind of maniac doesn’t have them laid out in an organizer in a drawer?

Literally, every one of his kitchen drawers was a junk drawer.

His bowls and his plates weren’t in the same cabinet and then, out of curiosity, I opened his dishwasher. Only to find baseball caps.

Honestly, I think that’s what drove me over the edge.

Now, he’s back and I have to figure out how to run home barefoot, without his giant, loveable bear of a dog spotting me and then never show my face again.

How else can I explain that I temporarily blacked out and organized his kitchen, bathroom, linen closet, and dresser?

Fuck you, Salvatore Ruggiero. Fuck. You.

I thought I could shrug off our years together when those men murdered you, but here I am ruining a chance at …

“Hey! You’re still here,” Logan’s voice tells me I’ve missed my window to run. “Bruno! No, down.”

Letting out a combination laugh and sob, I barely register Bruno’s paws on my shoulders as he starts to hump my hip.

“Fuck! Bruno, down!” Logan bellows as I just stand there hiccupping.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” I start repeating when I feel Bruno being pushed aside and Logan turning me into his embrace. “I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.”

“What are you talking about? Bruno didn’t hurt you, did he? Why are you crying?” Logan’s confusion is understandable as he checks my neck for scratches and uses his thumbs to wipe the tracks of my tears.

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that! Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’m a freak,” I gasp out before hiccupping again.

“For fuck’s sake,” he bites out the words, then slams his mouth against mine.

This isn’t the heated kiss from the night before. Today, it’s like he’s pouring his sudden frustration into me, all while trying to soothe me at the same time.

That sounds nuts, I think to myself before I start to laugh again.

He draws back, tilting his head as he studies my face. “I was eleven the last time a girl laughed at me when I kissed her.”

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