Page 51 of F*ck Marriage

“I know,” she says. “But I missed New York, and I’d been seeing someone when I just up and left, and I kept wondering if I’d just walked away from the best thing that ever happened to me.”

I stare at her not knowing what to say. I’m still processing the fact that Jules is back, while also trying to understand what this means for me.

“You never told me that. About a guy...”

Just like with everyone else, my friendship with Jules had taken a backseat during my divorce. But something as big as meeting the man of your dreams and then breaking up seemed worthy of an email at least.

“You’ve been ... busy,” she says, and I immediately feel guilty. Busy with my own self-pity. Sooooo busy. I bite my lip.

“Tell me,” I say.

Jules’ cheeks flush when she talks about him.

“Er ... well, we were seeing each other on the down-low. We hadn’t made it official yet, but we’d said I love yous and then I got the job offer...”

“Okay, okay,” I say, pushing her toward the living room. “Tell me everything.”

We settle on the couch after Jules insists on making us drinks.

“I can’t tell you my whole sob story without alcohol.” She sighs, plopping down next to me.

She tells me about the guy she’s known forever through friends. They started seeing each other a year ago and things got pretty serious. Then she was offered the job and chose to leave even when he asked her to stay.

“I feel so bad,” she says. “I hope he can forgive me. I came back for him, right? That means something.”

I nod. Jules has never really been into the dating scene, always more career-focused than the rest of us. The fact that she actually came back—choosing a man over her career—is big. Huge.

“You’re in love!” I say in surprise. For the first time since I’ve known her she looks vulnerable.

“Yeah. It’s all new for me. Scary…”

“Ugh, Julia. Don’t worry about it. He’s going to be so excited you’re home.”

“Don’t call me Julia.” She laughs. “It’s weird.”

She is sexy, aloof, successful, and kind. Any man would jump through hoops to have her.

“What if he’s already dating someone else? Or if he can’t forgive me for leaving?” Her face is genuinely worried.

I reach across the couch and touch her hand.

“He won’t care why you left, just that you’re back.” I mean to be comforting, but she bursts into tears.

“I’m sorry,” she says, when I’ve gotten up to get her a tissue. “I’m just so emotional. And just so you know, you’re welcome to stay here. I was thinking if everything goes right, I’ll move in with him.”

I smile. “Thank you.”

Her face suddenly lights up. “Oh my God, you look great.”

I look down at my much thinner figure feeling embarrassed. It’s one thing to be thinner, it is another for people to be constantly pointing it out.

“Yeah, your wardrobe makes me feel like a different person. It was the confidence boost I needed coming back to the city.”

“Well, don’t stop now. I’ve always wanted a sister.” She throws her arms around my neck and I hug her tight. It will be nice to have her back. Currently, she is my one and only friend. I’m about to ask her if she’s hungry when the buzzer sounds.

“You expecting someone?” she asks, looking at me.

Shoot. In all the excitement, I forgot that Satcher is coming by to pick me up for lunch. Jules is already at the intercom. She buzzes him up without knowing who it is. I look down at my workout clothes wondering if I look as bad as I feel. I’d meant to take a shower, wash my hair…

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