Page 18 of F*ck Marriage

“Fuck Woods,” she says before I can get anything else out. “Fuck him to hell and back.”

That isn’t a bad idea. Woods was a good fuck. I don’t say this out loud—she’d freak out on me. I keep my lips shut against sexual confessions and wait for her rant to be over. As soon as she’s finished, I launch into my story and tell her what’s been happening at Rhubarb: Pearl, Diane ... and then eventually my walk home with Woods.

“Whatever, Billie,” she says. “You’re back and he’s kicking himself for ever leaving. Don’t get sucked into his dangerous remorse. I’d like to tell him off for walking you home. So slimy.”

I smile into the receiver. A man walking a woman home is slimy now.

“It’s harder than I thought. I still feel things.”

“Of course you do…” Her tone is softer this time. And I marvel at her ability to always make me feel validated. “Unless there are no feelings, you can’t just jump back into your ex’s life. That’s nuts.”

I agree about how nuts it is while quietly squirming on my end of the line. Maybe it was a stupid idea to take the job. I didn’t really think it over before I accepted Satcher’s proposal. The idea of being that close to Woods and Pearl was too enticing. A train wreck you couldn’t look away from, except I wanted to beonthe train.

“It was stupid,” I say. “But I needed the job…” My voice wavers on the last part. In truth, I could have found a job somewhere else. I probablyshouldhave found a job somewhere else.

“How does Satcher seem?” she asks. Her question is odd. Satcher seems like ... Satcher.

“Fine. I mean, he’s Satcher. He had his shit together when he was in diapers.”

She laughs. We’ve all been fringe friends since college. Jules is my best friend and Satcher is Woods’. There has been a lot of social crossover over the years, though the two of them were never particularly close.

“He seems fine,” I assure her. “He likes to come to my office to gossip about Pearl.”

She laughs, but then she has to go. We hang up and I feel better right away. I touch the spot on my cheek where Woods kissed me. I don’t feel anything. Perfect.

Chapter Ten

It’s the last week of our fall-to-Christmas catalog, which means everyone is under a deadline to present at least four holiday post ideas as well as the photos that will accompany them for our winter spread. They don’t have to be entirely done, but the ideas need to be there and be fairly cohesive with our theme. During weeks like this everyone stays late working overtime, so I’m surprised when Pearl comes into the office and announces she’s leaving early.

“Early?” I say without looking up from what I’m doing.

Satcher, who is standing by my desk waiting for me to finish up signing some papers, asks the inevitable follow-up question.

“What’s so important that you’re missing our quarterly overtime?” He’s wearing his glasses today on account of itchy eyes, and he dips his head to look at her over the top of them. It’s incredibly sexy and I’m still staring at him when she says—

“We have dinner tonight with our parents.”

I don’t miss the possessive note in her voice when she saysour parents.Which I assume means hers and Woods’. As in ... my former in-laws. I feel possessive too. I had a good relationship with them—great even.

“Ah well, then I’ll let you two get to it,” I say dismissively. Better they both get out of here, they dampen the mood anyway. But apparently Satcher isn’t done with her.

“It’s important that you be here for this,” he says. I stare at him wondering why he’s being such a hard ass.

She opens and closes her mouth, and I can see the mountain of excuses she’s ready to give him. But arguing with Satcher is like arguing with your parents. He makes you feel stupid just by the way he looks at you. Pearl must know this because she clamps her mouth closed and mumbles something about moving the time.

“Why’d you do that?” I ask him when Pearl’s out of earshot.

“Why not?” he says, nonchalant. “She takes a lot of liberties because of Woods. We have work to do.”

“Okay,” I say. “You’re kind of scary sometimes, you know.”

“I know,” he says.

I pinch his cheek and he swats me away with a frown.

“Somehow, I’m never able to scare you though,” he says.

“I’ve known you for too long, Sasquatch.”

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