Page 16 of F*ck Marriage

“Thank you,” I say curtly when she sets it on my desk. She studies my face and I wonder if she’s looking for the tears I was so ready to shed a minute ago.

“Do I let you or Satcher know what my vacation days are?”

I’m caught off guard by her question.

“Um ... I guess you can give the dates to me,” I say. I pull a notepad toward me so I can write them down.

“October tenth through the twentieth,” she tells me. And then she adds, “We’ll be in Portugal for eight days.”

Portugal. My stomach turns. Woods and I had always planned on going to Portugal together. It was our thing. I swallow the lump in my throat and say, “The tenth to twentieth. Got it.”

She hesitates. I wonder if she wants me to comment on their vacation.

“Um ... well, I’ve got the dates. Anything else?”

“No. That’s all.” She reluctantly heads for the door.

“Pearl…”

She turns expectantly.

“Why Portugal?”

The self-satisfied look on her face informs me that I’ve asked the question she’s been wanting to answer.

“Woods said he’s always wanted to take the love of his life there.” Now that she’s dropped her bomb, the rest of her steps out of my office have more spring.

Chapter Nine

“Why are you avoiding me?”

I look up from my computer, surprised. I hadn’t heard Woods come in.

“Because I have a super big crush on you and you’re already engaged.” I meant it as a joke, but when I look up his expression says he doesn’t know that.

“Is this uncomfortable for you?” he asks. “Are you all right?”

“Woods…” I push away from my desk and cross my legs ceremoniously. My sigh echoes around the room. “First of all, I was joking. And don’t try to act all concerned about me now, not after what you did.”

He nods slowly, absorbing what I said. “I just ... this is…”

“Hard…” I finish for him.

“Yeah.”

I scratch my head. “It’ll get less so as we move along,” I say. I don’t believe that for a second, but Woods seems encouraged. I uncross my legs and slide my chair back toward my desk, hoping he’ll leave. I wonder why I can still separate the smell of his skin from everything else in the room, why it’s still so familiar after all this time.

“Is Pearl being weird with you?”

My fingers hover over the keyboard. I think of Zoe, and Portugal, and the baby discussion in the break room.

“No,” I say. “She’s being a bitch.”

He laughs. I lean back, stretching my arms over my head.

“I’ll talk to her…”

“Don’t bother. Honestly, Woods…”

---