Page 5 of Why Not Forever?

“That’s not how that works. Also, did you consider maybe she won’t want to marry me?” I ask.

He scoffs. Actually scoffs. “I’m certain you can persuade her.”

Who does he think his daughter is? Because the Victoria Sterling I know won’t marry me if I’m the last person on earth. Then something occurs to me: she might marry me if I can make it worth her while.

And if she agrees, it might just give me one last chance with the one who got away.

“Can I have some time to consider?” I ask Richard.

He sits back and nods. “Of course. It’s a big decision. But I hope you will agree by Friday.”

That gives me five days. I nod and the conversation moves on. We finish our dinners, chatting about the business, because that’s all Richard ever wants to talk about. The whole time, I’m thinking about his proposal, what I can say to Vic. Because I have a plan. And as much as she hates me, I have a feeling she’s going to like this one.

Chapter 2

Vic

Therestaurantisdim,with candles flickering on each table. It’s supposed to be romantic, but I just find it difficult to see. I’m here with Candice, my girlfriend of the last three months, and dinner is over. I’m about to ask her what she wants to do next when she leans her arms on the table and says, “Where are we going, Vic?”

I glance at Candice. She hasn’t said much this evening and I’ve been wondering if she’s mad at me. “I was about to ask whatyouwanted to do.”

She shakes her head. “I don’t mean tonight. I mean with our relationship.”

I frown in confusion, and she reaches across the table, placing her hand over mine. “I need more from you if this is going to work out. I need some emotion. I need something to show me you’re invested in this.”

“I took you to meet my parents last week.”

She rolls her eyes, sitting back and taking her hand with her. “Right. You introduced me to them because you knew they would disapprove. I see how you are with Spencer, and I understand how your other relationships were jealous of him.”

“I have no interest in Spencer romantically. Plus, he’s married. Very happily, I might add.”

“It’s not just him. It’s all your friends. You’re different with them than you are with me. More open, more willing to be part of the group. When we’re alone, you close up. You trust them. You don’t trust me. Let me in, Vic.” She leans forward. “Let me in or let me go.”

I take a sip of wine, not sure what else to do or say. It’s hard for me to let people in. I tend to hold a lot of myself back, which I explained to Candice when we started dating. She’d said she could be patient, but I guess I’ve made her wait too long.

The thing is, after a couple failed relationships where Iwasemotionally invested, I’ve been a little slow to open up. It doesn’t help that, if I go back even further, my parents never really accepted me for who I am, either. Keeping my walls up has become second nature. The only ones I’m myself around are the people I trust. Spencer and his wife, Lis. Derek and his fiancée, Ava. Adalie and her boyfriend, Nate. I’m not sure I know how to be myself around people other than them anymore.

After a moment, Candice nods and gives me a small smile. Then she stands and comes around the table to kiss me. “Goodbye, Vic,” she says, and I watch her leave, sad that I’m not more sad.

I thought I’d been doing better lately. I’d brought Candice to game night, something I never did with previous partners. Yes, maybe introducing her to my parents had been partially because they hate it when I date women, but after, I’d taken her for dessert and we’d had a good time.

The problem is, I’m always kind of afraid. Afraid I’ll let someone in, and they’ll turn into someone I don’t know anymore, like Emily had.

I’ve been in love twice in my life. The first time is so laced with regret I don’t like to think about him. The second time was Emily.

She had been amazing at first and I’d let her in. Then she’d gotten jealous of my relationship with Spencer and became controlling. I’d let it happen because I knew she’d had problems with being cheated on in the past. I understood where her fears came from. Also, I didn’t want to end up with the same regrets from before when I let go too soon. Even after we broke up, I kept taking her back. Maybe if I gave her one more chance, things could be different.

Even two years later, I still have that feeling sometimes, like right now.

I pick up my phone and send a text.

Me

Candice and I broke up. I need a reminder of why I can’t call Emily.

Logically, I know why I can’t call her. But sometimes I still need someone to remind me. It only takes a minute for the reply to come through.

Lis

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