Page 21 of Why Not Forever?

I nod.

“So why do you live in this tiny, old apartment?”

“It’s walking distance to the train,” I say.

She rolls her eyes. “And why do you live in Mission? You work in Vancouver. How long is the train ride?”

“I get on it at 5:55 and I’m in Vancouver by 7:10.”

“Do you like making that commute every day?”

I shrug. “It is what it is.”

She takes a seat at my dining table, gesturing for me to sit across from her. “I’m trying to understand, Tanner. You make enough money. Why don’t you live closer to work? If you like living in Mission—close to family, as you said—why didn’t you buy a newer place? Or buyanyplace? Why are you renting this tiny, run-down apartment? Do you have debt? I normally wouldn’t pry, but we’re gettingmarried. I need to know.”

“I don’t have any debt,” I say. That’s one thing I am proud of. My student loans are completely paid off. I pay the balance on my credit cards every month. I don’t own anything worth more than a few thousand dollars, including my car, so I can pay for everything in cash if I want something.

Vic takes a breath when I don’t say anymore. “You just said you would pay for half the wedding. You have savings?”

“I do. Quite a lot, actually.”

“What are you saving for?”

“I’m not savingforanything,” I say. I take my glasses off and rub my face, a gesture I normally wouldn’t allow myself, but this is a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. “I never mentioned how I grew up, did I?”

Vic shakes her head.

I take a breath and put my glasses back on, clasping my hands in front of me. It was easier when I couldn’t see her clearly, but I refuse to take the easy way out on this. She’s going to be my wife. She needs to understand.

“I have four older siblings,” I begin. “And my parents really should have stopped at one. They couldn’t afford to have five kids. In fact, Mom wanted to stop after Wyatt. When she got pregnant with me, Keith, my other brother, told me she was pissed. He liked to rub it in that I wasn’t wanted.”

“That’s terrible.”

I shrug. “That’s siblings. Especially siblings like Keith. Anyway, I grew up poor. Like dirt poor. Like, not believing in Santa Claus when I was four because he didn’t bring me any presents, poor. We moved a lot, finding new places that cost a little less, then losing that place because the owner decided to sell. We did our grocery shopping at the Food Bank. I never had anything new. We were homeless twice. Thankfully not on-the-street homeless, but living-with-aunts-and-uncles homeless. It was still scary.”

I unclasp my hands because my knuckles are starting to hurt from clenching so hard. Vic places her hand over one of mine and I turn it around, allowing our fingers to lace together.

“Two of my oldest siblings have managed to claw their way into middle class—my sisters, Brooke and Harper. Wyatt and I are doing better than them. We made a deal when we were kids that we would be rich when we grew up. Wyatt is so smart. He’s a tech genius and has an amazing job because of it. I went into business. I make great money. And I… don’t spend any of it. I have this weird fear that if I spend money on myself, suddenly I’ll stop making it and I’ll fall back into that place I was in when I was a kid.”

“But you bought me a ring.”

I laugh, but it’s humourless. “I can buy things for other people just fine. I bought my parents a house—well, apartment. And I’m paying for my nieces’ and nephews’ post secondary. Two of them have taken me up on it so far, but I expect Juliet, Rebecca, and Jaxon to as well. I think Jax wants to go into the trades.” I shake my head because what my nephew is planning to do with his future isn’t relevant right now. “I helped pay for things for them, like winter clothes and school supplies. When one of my siblings was short on rent or grocery money, I’ve helped them out. But I’ve never been able to buy things for myself. It seems… frivolous.”

I run my free hand through my hair before covering our linked fingers with it. “That’s the main reason I’m still with Sterling. The fear. Richard hasn’t been an easy person to work for, but if I leave, where will I go? What will I do? How will I continue to support myself and my family?”

Vic squeezes my hand. “Why is it your responsibility to support them?”

I shrug. “I have the money. I can. I don’t have any dependents. Everyone else has all these kids. I’m just me.”

“You’re a good man, Tanner. It’s admirable that you want to help your family. But a lot of what you just described, it stops today.”

My eyes shoot up to hers. “Excuse me?”

She looks sympathetic, but resolved. “We’re going to be married, Tanner. Yes, we’re going to have a prenup and what you have now will remain yours and vice versa. But going forward, our finances will be combined. Your siblings and your parents are grown adults. They are responsible for their own actions. I’m not going to stop you from helping your nieces and nephews. Helping them pay for college or trade school is great. If they need something as important as winter clothes or school supplies, we can discuss it. Buttheir parentsshould be taking care of them. Not you.”

I expect to feel resentful at this, that she’s forcing me to take a step back from my role in the family as the one who keeps everyone afloat. Instead, I’m overwhelmed by a dizzying sense of relief, and I release a breath, my shoulders relaxing as though a literal weight has been lifted from them.

That’s when I know I’m in trouble. Obviously, from the moment Richard came up with this insane idea, I knew I would want the marriage to continue. I’ve wanted Vic since the first second I laid eyes on her. I’ve had a crush on her since about two seconds after that. By the end of our MBA program, I was in love with her, and during the years apart, being connected to her through Richard has allowed me to understand how she’s grown into her role as business owner and overall badass woman which has only made me admire her more. But this moment is the first one that I’ve realized how much it’s going to hurt if—and when—our marriage ends.

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