Page 89 of Playing to Win

I didn’t go to a bar—I’d tried that before. I went home, took a bottle of wine into my room, and called my friend Mattie back home. She was the only person I knew who wasn’t watching hockey right now. She commiserated, but she didn’t truly understand. After the call I turned music on loud in my headphones until I passed out.

This was my life now. No longer with a team. Just with Braydon, when he wasn’t busy playing hockey.

* * *

Braydon

Jayna swore she was fine,but she wasn’t. She said she hadn’t wanted to run into Kira or Radner at the arena, but it was more than that. She’d lost her passion, hockey, and her job, also connected to hockey, and it was messing with her. The sex was great, but she was using it to avoid dealing with what was going on. After I’d watched the team win the first two home games of the series from the bench, I was heading out with them for two away games. She’d be on her own, and I worried about her.

Dealing with the loss of hockey was something she had to handle on her own, but if she wasn’t worrying about how to pay her rent, maybe she’d have the bandwidth to do something about it. I didn’t have the money or the connections to get her a job, but I knew people who did. They were Jayna’s people, but she wasn’t reaching out to them. One was even a relation of mine, so I called and asked to meet.

I was nervous, waiting at Faith’s door, but she smiled when she opened it and invited me in. Not a big smile, but at least a polite one.

“Thanks for talking to me.”

“It’s okay. Seb took Hailey over to Cooper’s, so it’s just us.”

“That’s good.” I wanted to keep it quiet, and I trusted Faith. She’d never told anyone about our relationship, and she was Jayna’s friend and teammate. Her husband worked in player development for the Blaze, so she was familiar with the organization. I hoped she could use her experience and the people she knew.

I followed her into the living room and sat on a chair after she sat on the couch.

“I know this isn’t a social call, so what’s up?”

I leaned on my forearms, draped over my thighs. My knee was moving, and I tried to will it to stay still while I gathered the words. “It’s about Jayna.”

“How is she doing? I’ve called her but she barely responds. We’re all worried. She’s not working, she’s not playing hockey, so you’re all she’s got right now. Not to be harsh, but is that going to be enough for the next forty years?”

I tried to smile. “She’s not great. And as much as she needs something, I know I’m not enough. I want to help, but the team expects me to be focused on our playoffs and I’m torn between the two.”

Faith curled up her legs. “You think it’s difficult to focus on hockey when your girlfriend is in trouble? Try it with a kid.” She stopped and held up her hand. “Forget that. Everyone has their own problems, and Jayna would be the last person to want to distract you from your game.”

“I know. And like with a kid, I can’t ignore that she’s struggling just so I can focus on my game.”

“I’m glad you want to help her, but she has to want it too.”

“Yeah. There’s just a lot of bullshit there, and you don’t know the whole story.” Jayna wouldn’t like me sharing everything, but I had to do something. “I’m not supposed to tell anyone. It would hurt Jayna if it got out.”

Faith curled up her legs. “I won’t promise till I hear it, but I wouldn’t do anything to hurt Jayna.”

I told her everything—the fake dating turning real, and Radner and Kira deciding to mess with Jayna’s reputation, resulting in her quitting.

Faith stood and crossed to the patio door. “Those assholes,” she growled. “I’m so in. What do you want me to do?”

“A couple of things. She’s afraid she’s going to lose you guys, the Bonfire, when she’s not part of the team anymore. She’s no longer handling your publicity, and you guys have less job security than we do so there might be a lot of new players next year.”

Faith came back over and picked up her phone, making a note. “She will always have us. I’ll make sure about that.”

“That’s good. That’s really good. Next thing, do you have any ideas about what she could do for work? Like, long term?”

“You wantmeto find her a job?”

My leg bounced again. “Maybe this is stupid, but if she found something, something she wanted to do and that would give her some security, maybe she’d be able to deal with losing hockey.” And I wouldn’t feel this crushing responsibility.

“What do you think I can do?”

“I just…I can’t help her. She doesn’t want something that comes from a guy who’s a hockey player. I’ve met her parents; I’ve listened to her. I understand. But she’s great at her job. Especially when it’s about hockey, because that’s something she’s passionate about.”

Faith sat down across from me again. “You care about her, don’t you?”

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