Page 78 of Playing to Win

Jaynaand I spent a lot of time together the week after we stopped being fake. The Blaze played at home, so no travel. Her roommate Megan was on a mission to find some overlooked treatment for Jayna’s knee, and it was driving Jayna nuts. Megan wanted to help but it was like she thought Jayna hadn’t tried hard enough. Jayna was already having trouble coming to terms with it.

I spent some time with her in the gym when she needed to vent her frustrations that way. Or at home, sex kept her distracted. It was messing a little with my routines, but I was still sitting on the bench. Jayna made sure I got my run in each morning, even if we were late getting to sleep. I didn’t skip any practices.

The sex had always been great, but now we had time to explore. Her neck was ticklish and she liked me to play with her boobs. But if I wanted to drive her really crazy I used my mouth on her clit while I stroked two fingers inside her. Her knee still wasn’t up for doggy style, but if she leaned over the bed, good leg bent on it and bad leg straight on the floor, she was so noisy she had to stuff her face in a pillow. Thankfully the Inferno were on the road because Luke would have given me so much stink eye.

Afterward, she liked to snuggle but needed some space for sleeping. I smiled when she rolled away before falling asleep. It was just so…her. It made it easier to get up in the morning when I wasn’t escaping her body wrapped around mine.

We hadn’t yet talked about what would happen after the Blaze hockey season. That would be rubbing salt in her wound. Would she keep working in PR? She was good at it, but maybe she’d rather coach, something more connected to hockey. Would she want to put hockey totally behind her? If she did, would that include me? Just in case, I used the time to show her what we could be together and hoped it was enough.

I was watching on the bench when the Blaze clinched their playoff spot at home against LA. We could lose every remaining game and still qualify. The atmosphere in the locker room changed. More tension, more excitement. Coach told me he’d put me in for another game before the end of the season so that I’d be ready if something happened to Petey in the playoffs.

I no longer felt like I was circling around the Blaze; I was part of the team. On the last road trip I’d been stuck with the bill when we all went out for dinner. I wasn’t surprised—when everyone got dressed up and we all went to a nice restaurant, I could see it coming. My credit card whimpered, but it meant they’d accepted me. Cooper checked that I didn’t need help to cover the total, which was nice but I said no. This was the big league, and needing help from the team dad wouldn’t help my image with them or myself.

* * *

We couldn’t playat home forever. We flew out to Florida for the last road games of the regular season. Back-to-back games, which meant I was probably playing the second night. I didn’t like leaving Jayna, not with everything going on with her. I’d never wanted to be in two places at the same time more.

I called her after we’d arrived at the hotel. “Hey, babe. How are you? How’d it go?”

She sighed and I heard rustling, like she was settling in her bed.

My dick took notice, but phone sex wasn’t why I’d called.

“Megan had some weird herbal remedies she thought I should try. She meant well, but it was hard to be polite. I tried everything, you know? I wish she’d just let it go.”

“That’s shitty. No one wanted to get back out there more than you. No one.”

There was a moment of silence—had that been the wrong thing to say? Over the last week Jayna had told me about all the things she’d done, before she’d had to accept that nothing was going to work.

“Thanks, Braydon. I almost doubted myself.”

I might not be very experienced at this boyfriend stuff, but I was doing okay. “You shouldn’t, and she shouldn’t make you feel like that. She’s panicking about losing you, but this isn’t the way to deal with it.”

My phone beeped for curfew. I settled against my headboard. I’d talk to her as long as she wanted.

“We had everyone from the team who’s still in town over tonight for pizza. I just…I dunno. Feel like a fake when I hang out with them now.”

If I was in her position, if somehow I had to leave hockey—that caused a full-body shudder—would I want to see my teammates, knowing I wasn’t one of them any longer? Probably better not to jinx myself by getting too deep into those weeds. “Was that a good thing, or did seeing them make it harder?”

“Both.” I heard her moving, and it was too easy to picture her in my bed. Again, I reminded my dick to stand down. “It brought home, hard, what I’m giving up, but my teammates are great. They reminded me of what I’ve accomplished, even if I didn’t get to do as much as I’d hoped.”

I didn’t have the same bond Jayna and her teammates did. Maybe it was a gender thing, or maybe they were just one of those tight teams that I’d heard about. The kind that won championships. Or in this case, just missed. “They supported you, right?”

“They did. But then they asked what was next and fuck if I know.”

The question I hadn’t asked. “You’ve got time to decide.”

“Maybe. Kira is going to tell the Blaze. Not sure what’s going to happen there.”

“But you’ll still have your job, right? You’re really good at it.”

“I have the job till the end of the year, if I’m lucky.”

“What the hell? Why wouldn’t they keep you?”

“I’m filling in for a maternity leave. Penny went out in January, and with my surgeries over I was available. Since I was doing the job for the Bonfire anyway, they just expanded it.”

I’d hoped she had the Blaze job as a security net until she figured out if she wanted to stay there or do something else. “That’s still lots of time to come up with a plan. If I can do anything, I will. Just ask.”

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