Page 71 of Unstoppable You

“Nothing wrong with that.”

Silence fell between us.

“I don’t know what to think,” she whispered.

“About what?” I asked, even though I knew. She’d said she didn’t want to talk about this, but it seemed almost impossible to avoid.

“About me. About what we did together. About how it made me feel. About what that means for who I am and what I know about myself.” Her words were so quiet I could barely hear her.

“I was really scared. When I first came out. Because I knew my parents wouldn’t be supportive, but also because I wasn’t sure that was who I wanted tobe. Why did I have to be defined by my sexuality? So many other people get to just live their lives and not even think about it once. Why did I have to have this struggle and stress? It isn’t always an easy thing, Delaney. To question what you’ve believed about yourself for your entire life. To see a different future for yourself.”

She fiddled with her blanket. “I almost want to ask my parents, but I don’t know what to say and I don’t want to say the wrong thing. What if I change my mind? What if I’m wrong?”

Her eyes were big and bright when she looked up at me. I wished I was there with her to hold her in my arms, but this was the best I could do.

“There’s no wrong way to be. If you change your label or change your mind, then so what? It’s not anyone’s business but yours. And if you don’t want to wake up tomorrow and hop on the lesbian float in the Pride parade, you don’t have to. You get to decide who you are. No one else. Because this isyourlife and you’re the one who gets to live it.”

I gave her the words I wish I’d heard for myself back when it had been two a.m. and I’d been freaking out in the glow of my laptop as I searched online to figure out if I was a lesbian or not.

Delaney started to cry and, fuck, I wanted to be there with her.

“Do you need me to come over?” I asked. “I can be there in like ten minutes or less.”

She sniffed. “No. I’m okay. I really am. Thank you for talking to me. And for today. I wouldn’t have trusted or wanted that with anyone else.”

“Oh, baby,” I said.

She gave me a little smile and that was good to see. “I shouldn’t like the way you call me baby so much. Connor…he never called me that. He called me ‘babe’ and I always hated it.” Good thing I hadn’t used that.

“What’s the difference?” I asked.

She thought about that. “I’m not sure. It just is different.”

“He called me earlier. He was stuck at a Walmart in New Hampshire.” Delaney burst out laughing just as I hoped she would.

“What the hell was he doing there?”

I shook my head slowly. “I have no idea, but I sure as fuck wasn’t going to get him. He blew up my phone for a while and now I’m just waiting for the two-pronged assault of my parents telling me what an awful sister I am.”

“I’m sorry. You really shouldn’t have to deal with that. If you ever want to borrow my parents, I know they’d love to see you.” I had no doubt about that. Delaney’s parents were just good people, through and through.

“Maybe. Wouldn’t they assume that something was happening between us?”

Delaney shrugged one shoulder. “They might.”

“Would you be okay with that?”

She let out a long breath. “I don’t know yet. I have the feeling I’m going to be up really late tonight.” She rubbed her forehead with frustration.

“Do you want me to stay on the phone with you?”

“No, you don’t have to do that. But maybe we can just keep the call going for a little while.”

“Sure.”

We talked for a little longer and then I started getting ready for bed, setting the phone nearby so she’d know I hadn’t gone anywhere.

“Can I tell you a secret?” she asked as I got into bed.

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