Page 97 of His Dark Vendetta

“He’s using you to get to me. You know what he did last night? He baited me, made me call your cell phone just to make a show of pulling the damn thing out of his pocket.”

And there it was. Mystery solved. Two mysteries solved, actually—Luca’s odd behavior the night before and Ciarán standing in my living room at eight a.m. on a Sunday morning.

Luca’s comment—he was trying not to break me—finally made sense. He couldn’t bring himself to use me against Ciarán, and the only way he knew how to prevent that was to take me home. But as I pieced together the scenario that might have unfolded, my simmering anger toward my family heated to a raging boil.

“This isn’t about me at all, is it?”

His head jerked back, and he scrunched his face. “What? Of course it is. He’s using you.”

“Finish the sentence, Ciarán,” I said, taunting and bitter. “Finish the fuckingsentence!”

He gaped at me, confused. He didn’t get it, and wasn’t that the story of my life?

“You said, ‘He’s using youto get to me.’That’sthe end of the sentence. This isn’t about me at all. It’s about you. It’s about being a Shaughnessy. It’s about protecting your reputation. You don’t give a flying fuck how this affects me. Well, guess what, Ciarán? I’m done. I’m done being dismissed. I’m done taking care of everyone else when no one gives a shit about me. I’m done being taken for granted.

“I came back to Southie because I’m a responsible fucking adult and my elderly parents need me. But I should’ve known nothing else would have changed. I’m still a second-class citizen in my own goddamn family. So excuse me if I don’t believe you when you say it’s your responsibility to protect me. If that was true, if the Shaughnessys gave a shit about keeping me safe, I wouldn’t have a stomach full of bullet holes and surgery scars.”

My chest heaved as years of resentment and hurt were finally given air.

“Now wait just a damn minute, Siobhán. How is that my fault? I was a kid, just like you. I took care of you. I went to the hospital. I sat with you. I tried to get you out of the house after they released you. Don’t put that ugly shit on me!”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Was I not being fair? Calling you out on your bullshit? You may not be to blame for what happened when we were kids—that honor falls solely on your da and my parents—but the apple didn’t fall far from the tree, Ciarán, and you’re doing the same shit as your da. You say you want to protect me, but just last week you asked me for dirt on Marco DeVita. If you were so concerned about my safety, you wouldn’t be trying to get me involved.

“You don’t get to have your cake and eat it to. Involving me is not protecting me. Protecting our family name and your reputation is also not protecting me. So you can kindly fuck off with all your fake concern. I’m done.”

Ciarán’s mouth hung open, and he stared at me like I’d slapped him across the face. Multiple times. While wearing a gauntlet. Good. Fuck him.

A weight lifted from my shoulders at finally saying my piece. For all intents and purposes, Ciarán was my twin brother, and I didn’t give a rat’s ass he was the boss. I needed to speak my truth, and he needed to hear it.

“I—” He cleared his throat. “I didn’t know you felt that way,” he mumbled, stunned and shaken.

I snorted. “No surprise there. You never bothered to ask. No one has ever bothered to ask.”

He pulled his hands out of his pockets and rubbed his forehead. “You deserve better from me.” His shoulders slumped on an exhale. “Fuck. I’m sorry. I should have known.”

I waved a hand, suddenly very tired, and sipped my coffee. “What’s done is done.”

“You deserve better than Luca Moretti though too.”

“Yeah, well, that’s not up to you, is it?” I raised a judgy eyebrow. “And it doesn’t matter anyway, because we’re not together. Never have been.”

“I knew it!” He pointed at me and stepped forward. “I knew he took advantage of you. Did he rape you? So help me God?—”

“No, he didn’t rape me! Jesus Christ, Ciarán!”

“Then what the hell happened? Cause from the shit he was saying last night—that he took you from us, that you were his—it sure as hell sounded like he was using you.”

Oh, Luca.

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. I could only imagine the idiotic, caveman pissing contest that had gone on between the two of them. A headache formed at my temples fueled by lack of sleep and alpha-male stupidity.

“I can’t let this shit go, Vahnie. You know I can’t.”

I pinned him in place with a scowl. “Oh, yes you can. You can, and you will. Don’t you dare go after him and pretend like you’re doing it for my sake, because I am telling you right now, that is not what I want. If you want to show me that you’ve changed and actually give a shit about what I want, about what is good for me, you will leave Luca Moretti alone. Do you hear me? You will end this insane blood feud before someone I care about gets hurt.Thatis what I want.”

His jaw worked, a study in conflict. I had him cornered, and he didn’t like it. But I was done with everyone pretending like they gave a shit about me and showing me they didn’t. Actions spoke louder than words, and it was time I held my family accountable.

He crossed his arms. “Fine,” he barked, and his blue eyes flashed. “But if he ever crosses the line with you, if he ever comes at me or our family…” His words rumbled with a heaviness I couldn’t ignore. “Don’t put me in a position where I have to choose, Siobhán, because you know I won’t have a choice.”

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