Page 93 of The Outsider

She deserved everything.

She had so much compassion for herself then. And so much excitement for her future.

But best of all, she was happy right now. Looking at him. Knowing that he wanted her. That she had driven him to this.

“You do want me, don’t you?” she asked.

“Bix, you have no idea how long it’s been since I let myself really want anything. And I know that I’m crossing a line here.”

“Why? Because I’m a virgin?”

“No. Because I keep myself more controlled than this. And I’m not right now. I’m not making good decisions. But I want you. And I need you to know that. That this is in the same kind of thing for me. I’mnota virgin. But this is new. Something different. I can’t tell you no. I don’t want to. Maybe I could refuse you, butI won’t. It amounts to the same thing. But somehow it feels...” He sifted his hand through her hair. “You’re extraordinary. No one has ever made me want to burn everything to the ground quite the way that you do.”

“It’s because we are fire, Sheriff,” she said.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, and paused for a moment. All she could do was luxuriate in the moment. In the feel of him. The way it felt to push her fingers through his hair. To feel the hot skin on the back of his neck. She smoothed her hands over his broad shoulders.

He really was just so beautiful. She kissed the corner of his mouth, his chin. Then she took his lips, moaning as he parted hers, as he slid his tongue against her own.

It was so good. He was so good. His large hands moved down her back, over her body.

To feel desired like this was something entirely new.

And maybe that more than anything was why she’d never done this before. Because the kind of sexual desire she’d been exposed to had felt mean. Selfish. Being touched by Daughtry felt expansive. Every brush of his hand over her body spoke of a mutual need. The way that he held her was possessive, it was true, but there was something else. A desire to give to her. She felt it. She relished it.

“You’re not going to go on a date with Michael again, are you?”

She shook her head. “No. I already told you. He’s just a friend.”

“I’m jealous of him,” said Daughtry.

He soundedfuriousabout it.

She couldn’t help herself. She barked out a laugh. Even then. Even right then under the stars, with her body still buzzing from his touch.

“What’s so funny about that?”

“It’s funny,” she said, “because it’s ridiculous. You are the most gorgeous man that I have ever beheld. You have no reason to be jealous of anybody.”

“I’m jealous of any man you might want, Bix. Because I want to be the only one.”

“You are. You will be. For the whole rest of the time that I’m here. It’s another brick. Teach me. Everything that I’m missing. Show me what I want. I have all these feelings. I have all these desires, but I don’t know what to do with them. And I feel like you can show me. Really. Truly.”

He held her close, there in the darkness, with only the moon and the stars as witnesses. “Tell me what you want.”

She shivered. His words were filled with sensual promise, and the hot press of his body against hers threatened to be her undoing.

She had been the one pushing this, and now he was showing her that he would take the lead. Down the path that she wanted. It was up to her. Her choice.

She knew that.

He was giving her the opportunity to say what she needed.

What she wanted. He was making it about her, while making it clear he was the one who knew exactly what he was doing.

She thought of her book. Her favorite book.

“I think I want... I want you to show me. There are things I think I’d like, but I... I trust you. I have trusted you, this whole time. You found me in the woods, and you took me in. You took the lead. That’s what I want. I want whatever you’re going to give me. Because it could never be anybody else. Not this time. Not for this first... It needed to be you. And I need for this to be... about you and me. Not about any other things I’ve wondered about...”

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