Page 79 of Ruined Vows

Jesus, do I really have that bad of a poker face? I’ve got to work on that. There’s too much going on in my life for my emotions to be showing so transparently.

“Fine,” I say quickly. “Just texting a friend.”

ME: Hey, can I text you back later?

ME: really crowded here.

ME: Talk soon.

I send the message and then turn off my phone, breathing out hard as soon as I do.

And consumed with guilt. I never shut Drew out. He knows I always make space for him. Whenever his dad is cruel or violent, he always has me to turn to.

No wonder he wants to marry you. Who wouldn’t want their own personal therapist and comfort object on call?

It’s a cruel thought.

But also not wrong.

I frown. Is that what I really think I am to Drew? Or is it just an intrusive thought I can’t trust? Everyone says to trust your gut, but what do you do when you’ve got OCD and occasionally have intrusive thoughts like:Stab your hand with a fork? orJump out of the moving car?

My mind feels like a minefield sometimes. I don’t know which thoughts to trust.

“Hey, everyone!” Moira says, breezing in and taking off her coat as she sits down in the chair beside Anna, furthest away from her brother. “Hope I’m not too late.”

She pulls off her shades and tucks them in her purse.

“Just in time,” Quinn starts to say before pausing and leaning over the table. “Holy shit, M. Is that a shiner?”

Domhnall shoots up from where he’s sitting across the table. He’s got his sister’s chin in his hand a second later, tilting her face toward the light.

Moira yanks back from him. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” Domhnall says, jaw flexing. “You clearly put on more makeup to try and hide it from us.”

Moira rolls her eyes. “I knew I shouldn’t have come out tonight.”

“Just tell us what happened,” Quinn demands, no-nonsense.

I can’t help but be moved by how obviously everyone in the group cares for each other. Even if Moira’s clearly annoyed by it.

“It was no big deal. It was just some consensual slapping with a dom I know. He went harder than he should have. That’s all.”

“Which dom?” The vein in her brother’s forehead looks all but ready to burst. “Was it Bane? And there’s another bruise on your arm. Fuck, Moira.

“No, of course it wasn’t Bane. I just saw him that one night.” Moira looks down in dismay at where he’s pointing, then glares up at her brother as she yanks her coat back on.

Domhn just stares at her. “What’s going on with you?”

“It’s none of your business if I want to play a little rough.”

“It is if you’re playing outside the club again. Jaysus, how could ya? After what happened last time?”

Anna gasps at his words, a haunted look coming into her eyes. Moira’s face crumples with horrified guilt, and she shoots up from the table, yanking her purse over her shoulder and shoving her shades back on.

As she does, I get a better look at her. She looks a lot skinnier than the last time I saw her. Her badly applied makeup doesn’t hide her gauntness.

I don’t know everything that happened last year when Anna had her mental breakdown after coming out of the amnesia, but there have been clues here and there that Domhnall blames Moira for some part in it.

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