Page 92 of Ruined Vows

“I’m guessing the woman’s not without her charms. Help isn’t out of the question.”

Domhn punches a few more buttons. “No one else was ever arrested with her.”

“Hey, do you mind running a few more names for me?”

Our eyes meet briefly over the top of his laptop. “Anything to help. You were there for me and Anna, and I don’t forget that shit.”

I hear what he’s saying, and I nod, then give him the students’ names that Kira gave me. But there’s nothing on any of them. Not even any juvie records. I don’t wanna know how Domhn checks that, just that he does.

Which leaves me exactly back at square one. With fuck all.

Suddenly I’ve got that feeling just like I used to back in the sandbox. Like there’s an invisible threat always hovering around, but you never know what direction the hit might come at you from. It’s always when you least expect it. My chest tightens and my asshole clenches.

Fuck. I thought it had been enough time. I pull a peppermint candy from my pocket to get the goddamn scent of burning fuel outta my head.

I was sure I could handle this kind of work. But what happens if I fail Kira right when she needs me most?

THIRTY-SIX

KIRA

So much has happenedsince poker night a couple weeks ago—going into subspace and coming back to the hotel to find the stalker had struck again—and then everything just went back to… normal.

Well, as normal as squatting at a billionaire’s house can be, and continuing wedding preparations, and climbing into bed every night with a mountain of an ex-military man. Isaak’s been working out with Domhn while I lesson plan, and I swear, he’s getting even more cut. Meanwhile, my body gets softer and doughier because while Domhn does all the cooking, Anna loves to bake.

When I met with the friend who’s designing my wedding dress this past week, she had to let it out because I’d gained weight. I can see it in my rounder face, too, and the disgust and disapproval in my mother’s expression is evident when she looked me up and down at a final walk through with the caterer on Monday.

But Isaak tells me I’m beautiful every day, and you know what? I’m starting to think he’s right.

Ever since that night at the club, it’s felt easier and easier to believe. Besides, Isaak doesn’t have any trouble tossing my body around at night. I never knew sex could be this good. It turns out I like having a little extra flesh on my bones for him to hold onto and an ass that jiggles when he spanks it.

The stalker still sends me a non-stop barrage of emails and texts, but that, too, starts to just become another part of the routine. As long as Isaak’s by my side, I feel safe and sort of invincible.

But while the routines feel normal, it’s only because I’m trying to keep incredibly busy so I don’t have time to stop and think about the rollercoaster I’m strapped into, speeding inexorably toward a cliff that’s now fully visible in the distance.

The date is marked on my calendar with a big wedding bell emoji.

It’s supposed to be the most exciting day in a young woman’s life. The day she’s dreamed about since she was a little girl running around the house in princess dresses.

Except I was never that little girl.

I was a sad, bookish little kid who hid in closets reading fanfiction on my phone so Carol couldn’t find me to yell at me some more. I dreamed about becoming an adult so I would finally be in control of my own life. Not so I could get married to a boy.

My heart sinks whenever I think about getting married to Drew.

And it’s like I canfeelIsaak’s disappointment in me whenever I have to go do something wedding-related.

He thinks I should call it off. He’s never said it, but I know he’s thinking it.

But he?—

He doesn’t understand.

It’s my wholelifeI’d be throwing into chaos. Sure, maybe that night at the club I felt brave, but the rest of the time, when I’m sane, I know I cling to the safe walls of my box for a reason. Even that night, I was only so brave because I got to completely rely on Isaak’s strength. And I refuse to be a woman who relies on a man like thatallthe time. In bed is one thing. But in my real life…

I just know my limits. And my limits require that I keep to the safe structures and walls laid out for me. That way I don’t have to worry about completely melting down in an anxiety puddle all the time.

Sure I haven’t been melting down as often lately. Even the intrusive thoughts haven’t been as bad.

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