Page 66 of Ruined Vows

I’m standing outside Kira’s classroom the following week. I can still see her through a window in the door, so I’m not breaking horror movie rules. But I really needed to check in with Marcus.

“Yeah, I got a couple before I need to get Ella to daycare,” Marcus says. “How’s the new gig been going?”

I watch Kira at the lecturer’s stand, looking badass and confident, then think of all the ways I got her naked and dripping this weekend.

“Good, good,” I say, feeling the back of my neck go hot.

If we go through with this, all my friends will know I’m fucking my client. But it’s clear by this weekend Kira needs to get her rocks off before the wedding to release some pent-up steam. And if she’s curious about subspace and other adult play—with a stalker around, I’m really the only sensible choice for the job. I’m certainly not about to let her play with some masked fuck here at the club. No. If Kira wants to play, she’ll be playing withme. I’m the only one I trust to keep her safe.

And the club’s the safest place for the scene Kira’s interested in. Since I’m rusty on my dom shit, there’s no way I’m gonna try it without others around. I’m not that stupid or that proud.

Sure, I know I oughta be focusing on my company and worrying about how this could screw up my plans. But frankly, I’ve always been a live-in-the-now kind of guy. I’ve never thought further than six months ahead, if I’ve even managed that. When I was a kid, it was day to day.

Besides, right now my entire job isher. I keep telling myself it’s fine, sleeping together isn’t affecting my ability to watch over her. It was a little easier to believe when I was keeping her in a three-hundred square foot hotel room, fucking her brains out for an extended weekend. We never ended up switching to that other room.

But now we’re back in the outside world.

And I’m more on edge than I have been in a long time. Since when I was in the sandbox, if I’m being honest, when the brothers I cared about—closer than any of the actual blood kin who never gave a shit about me—were in danger day in, day out.

I’ve been getting that funny feeling at the back of my throat again. Like I could throw up any minute, knowing Kira’s in danger every second she’s exposed.

I reach into my pocket and unwrap a peppermint candy before popping it in my mouth. It’s screwed up. Fucking her was never supposed to... It was just supposed to be a release for both of us. Like a pressure valve to release after too much steam has built up. Not… whatever this is becoming.

Last night I stayed up half the night just gazing at her face to memorize it or some shit. Even though we’d fucked all day and my balls were more than spent, I wanted to wake her up again and fuck her, even if I had to use my fingers and mouth. Like, the world only felt okay when I was inside her.

It’s fucked up, and I don’t know what to do with all these…feelings. But I do know I want to give her the subspace experience she talked about wanting the other day. We went to the club on Saturday night, but she grabbed my arm when we walked in, saying she didn’t want to do anything, just watch for the night.

So that’s what we did. We watched and chatted with Moira, Caleb, Domhn, Anna, and Quinn. And then we watched some more. Kira seemed especially interested in one of the most experienced dom/sub couples who drop by the club from time to time to scene, Jinx and Gemini. Watching her watch Gemini’s face, I knew I wanted to give her this sooner rather than later.

Especially since I don’t know how long this whole thing can last. It’s flaming so hot between us that I’m afraid we’re going to eat up all the oxygen in the room and burn out just as quickly. Women tire of me and my shit pretty quick, usually. Kira might give me a little more grace because of her age and naivete, but I’m a bastard if I let her. If she’s really looking for dom energy, I should be the grownup and know when it’s the time to walk away.

One night or a weekend’s usually all I’ve got in me when it comes to a woman, anyway. I don’t know what’s crawled up my ass about this one.

I glare through the glass as Kira smiles at the class with a raised eyebrow, connecting with them in a way I know makes them all adore her. Or become obsessed with her. Obsessed enough to stalk her.

One day I’ll walk away just like with all the others, but not yet.

Not yet.

“So what do you want?” Marcus asks, bringing me back around to the present conversation and why I’m calling.

“Right. Um. Are you coming by the club tonight?”

“Whyyyy?” He stretches out the word, sounding curious. But then he says, “Hold on one sec.” And in a voice further away from the phone, I hear, “No, Ella honey,” he says with infinite patience. “The left shoe goes on the left foot. Your other left.”

He’s obviously with his daughter.

“Am I on speaker?”

“No.”

Good, then I don’t need to watch my words. “You were the one who gave me my initial dom training, and I was wondering if you could give me a brief crash course again. I want to actually try with a woman I’ve met. To get her into subspace.”

“Hmm,” Marcus says, back in my ear. “Well, there are lots of ways to do that. Once a woman knows you and you’ve trained her—” His voice drops away from the phone. “Yes, honey, exactly like with training wheels,” before coming back to me. “Look, I guess now’s not a good time after all. When did you want to try?”

“Soon. Are you gonna be around the club tonight? I’ll pay for the sitter.”

“It’s not the price that’s the problem,” Marcus growls into the phone, sounding frustrated. “It’s finding someone I can trust. The last nanny wouldn’t look up from her damn phone to see that Ella had gotten through the pool gate and almost landed herself in the deep end.”

---