Page 44 of Ruined Vows

“So we’ve decided to leave it up to the last minute, getting both sized to her proportions.” I feel her searing eyes pinning me like a butterfly to a board. “Have you made your decision yet?”

Again, I feel everyone’s eyes on me, and sweat bursts out on my forehead. My breath immediately gets tight in my chest.

I don’t want to wear my mother’s dress. Just trying it on made my skin crawl. Not that it fits. I feel the same way about the Carolina Herrera that she ordered in the too-small size she refuses to allow the tailor to let out.

I’m frozen, my fight or flight response making me feel like a deer in the headlights.Play dead. Play dead. If you just stop talking and pull back far enough inside yourself, the predator will go away.

Or you’ll end up dead meat smushed on the pavement.

At some point, you’ll have to stand up to your mother, my therapist’s voice repeats in my head.Last session, you even connected that it makes you ill when you don’t.

“I was actually thinking of something different than either of them,” I burst out in a rush, pushing my glasses up my nose. “I’ve got a friend at school who’s a really amazing costume designer. She was sketching out this gorgeous dress for me last week. She said a couple months would be a squeeze, but because we’re friends, she’d fit me in. She’s a genius, and I told her I’d be honored to wear an original of hers.”

I beam at everyone around the table. “It’s going to be stunning.”

I’m met with silence in return.

Intentionally, I don’t look Carol’s way. But even with her in my periphery, I can feel her horror at what I know she’ll later call an outburst. I can already hear her shrieking the next time she gets me alone because I’ve heard it so many times before:Howdareyou embarrass me like that in public?!

But all I’m doing is being myself. The one mortal sin in the Roberts’ household.

“So,” I smile at everyone, then pick up my chopsticks, my breathing returning to normal as I finally suck in a deep breath. “That’s exciting.” I pinch a piece of sushi in between my sticks and pop it in my mouth.

As I smile and chew, conversation slowly picks back up around the table as partners begin to first murmur between each other and then to those around them. They sneak glances at me and Drew, then my mother. I can feel Carol boiling in her cauldron at the head of the table, but I just keep smiling, popping another sushi roll in my mouth.

Wow, I just realized how hungry I am.

“What are you doing?” Drew whispers under his breath. Like a ventriloquist, his mouth barely even moves. “You know you’re just antagonizing her.”

I give a little, imperceptible shrug. “I’ve still got to do what’s right for me. I can’t destroy myself just to make her happy. See how much calmer I am?”

He looks at me, his brows furrowing the tiniest bit in clear confusion. “You’ve been different lately.”

I smile at him. Widely. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

SIXTEEN

ISAAK

Watchingfrom the sidelines as Kira’s forced to sit up straight and act right is one of the most painful evenings I’ve ever endured.

It’s apparently good that I’ve never been around folks this rich or entitled before because instead of going into the military, I might’ve ended up in prison for choking one of the motherfuckers out. Sure, I’ve gotten in my share of fights, but I’m not usually given to violent impulses.

These people, though. Damn.

I come from regular folks. If they want to insult you, they do it the old-fashioned way—get drunk and yell it to your face. The brawling and furniture breaking starts, and after, it’s either more beer for all or you sleep it off in the drunk tank.

But this shit is next level. The whole room has polished white granite walls and tile floors, so the sound echoes. Between the tinkling piano music, I can hear whispered conversations bouncing over to my corner from all over the room.

That Carol is a trip and a half, which I knew from before in the dressing room. Turns out she’s just a duck leading all the other ugly ducklings around the pond, and none of them are ever gonna turn into swans.

Except Kira, who’s been swanning over all their asses the whole time, no matter how many dour, beige dresses her mother stuffs her into. God knows what she’s doing with that dumb bastard in the tux beside her, besides him being slick as snot.

The hors d'oeuvres are still being passed around when a tall, elderly man with trim white hair and an expensive suit approaches me.

“Hello, son,” he says affably. “You’re military, am I right?”

“I was.” I keep my affect flat. Who is this guy?

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