Page 135 of Ruined Vows

KIRA

I feelsick from worrying about Isaak.

Not knowing what’s happening to him and just imagining the worst, hour by hour? It’s twisted my already-nauseaus stomach into even more knots.

Jump out the window.

Stab Drew in the eye with a fork.

Stab yourself in the thigh with a fork.

Why are my intrusive thoughts so obsessed with forks? God! Why not knives? It’s obviously the more logical stabbing utensil. But forks have all those lovely little sharp, stabby tines.

Sharp stabby tines. Sharp stabby tines. Sharp stabby. Sharp stabby. Sharp stabby. Sharp stabby. Sharp-stabby-sharp-stabby-sharp-stabby-sharp-stabby?—

Ugh! I grab my head in my hands and crouch on the floor of the bedroom where Drew has stashed me.

I need to stop imploding and focus my rage on fucking Drew.

Fucking Drew. Fucking Drew. Fucking Drew. Fucking Drew.

He’s gone back to pretending everything’s normal. Oh yeah. It’s so normal to be locked up in his house, where he’s keeping meprisoneruntil the wedding.

Does he think that’s just how it’ll be from now on? That I’ll be docile and obedient?

This is fucking ridiculous.

He hasn’t even mentioned when Isaak’s getting out. I’m not walking down that goddamned aisle until I get some assurances.

Plus… I want to see Isaak again before the wedding. No, Ineedto see him.

I breathe out and look down at my feet where I’m still crouched. For Isaak to be safe, he’s got to be long gone. If he does something stupid like show up at the wedding?—

There’s literally no telling what Drew might do to him.

Isaak’s not safe here. He’s not safe around me. Or my world. He never was, and it was obvious to anyone with eyes except me.

I was daydreaming, thinking I could escape. Because this alwayswasmy world, wasn’t it? I just didn’t have eyes to see the box for what it really was.

It was always crafted by violence and abuse and control. Drew’s father. My mother. My father, even, always so obsessed with money and power no matter the cost. And now Drew.

The box they want to put me in was never for my safety.Icreated it. My brain erupted with all these OCD symptoms screaming at me that something iswrong!because theywere the dangerous ones all along.

They can only keep their power if me and everyone like me stay small so they can keep looming large.

Maybe there was never any way out for me, as narrowly as I’ve been backed into this corner.

But one thing’s for damn sure, I’m not taking a good man like Isaak Luther down with me.

So that means I’ve got to go handle Drew, no matter how fucking anxious or crazy I feel right now.

Fucking Drew. Fucking Drew. Fucking Drew.FuckingDrew.FuckingDrew.

My hands ball into fists and I climb off the floor.

I can put on the poker face needed to handle him. I’m capable of more than any of them realize.

I take a deep breath, swallow hard, and head off to find him in his study.

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