Page 32 of Over the Edge

He muttered something obscene under his breath in her general direction that made her smirk even bigger.

“At least now that I’m coming along with you the odds of success should go up a lot.”

“Going from zero to almost zero isn’t anything to brag about,” Trevor bit out.

“Having two of us will more than double the force we can project against bad guys. You know that as well as I do.”

When he didn’t refute the claim, which was in fact true, she added, “Besides. Two operators are always better than one. Two minds attacking problems. We can sleep in shifts and stay better rested. Plus, I can speak freely to women. In a place like Zagistan where women don’t have all the rights and privileges of men, that’ll be helpful. Not to mention I speak Zagari.”

“All of that may be true.” He exhaled audibly and added, “I hate to break it to you, but there’s no way I’m taking you along on this op. Once we land in Zagistan, you’re going home, and I’m continuing on alone.”

Fury was her first response, followed quickly by bone deep hurt. He didn’t want her with him? Professionally or personally? Or both? Dammit, she’d worked so hard to prove to all the men that she could hold her own as a SEAL. Or was this purely about him not wanting to be alone with her?

“Why?” she asked ominously.

He seemed to sense she wasn’t going to let up on him until he gave her an answer, for he finally sighed and said without heat, “Because I don’t expect to come back from it alive, and I’m not getting you killed, too.”

Trevor was immeasurably relieved that,after his admission to Anna, she fell silent, staring at him in patent disbelief.

He took advantage of her rare moment of speechlessness to turn away from her, plant the side of his head against the drawn window blind and close his eyes. He’d gotten plenty of rest on the previous flights, but it seemed prudent to feign sleep rather than face Anna’s wrath at his confession.

What had he been thinking, telling her he expected to die? Now she was never going to leave him alone. She would pester him right up to the moment he left her behind and headed out into the mountains.

And hewasleaving her behind. No way was he letting her come along on the mission he’d had a premonition would be his last. It wasn’t that he was superstitious. He just knew the odds were stacked against them on this one. Way against them. Even the briefers at the CIA had thought the mission was too dangerous to approve. He’d had to beg, badger, and practically bribe the people there to let him go.

The engines spooled up to a high-pitched scream, and the jet accelerated down the runway. As the nose pitched up and they lifted off the ground, the finality of what he was doing struck him. With every mile flown, he was that much closer to the end.

He ought to be reluctant to die. But instead, impatience was building in his gut. He didn’t like waiting for things, didn’t like living with a sense of anticipation. He’d been disappointed too many times in his life to believe in anticipation or hope, any more.

At least if a guy expected the worst, he was never disappointed.

Thankfully, Anna didn’t bother him as he pretended to sleep. In fact, he eventually felt the weight of her head come to rest against his left shoulder as she, too, caught one last nap before they arrived in Zagistan.

Her weight against his side was strangely soothing, and he actually found himself getting drowsy. Very carefully and very slowly, he turned beneath her until he faced her, angled diagonally in his window seat. Her head came to rest on his chest.

She stirred a bit, settling more comfortably against him, her entire upper body basically resting on his. He draped his arms lightly around her, amazed at how well their bodies fit together. More at ease than he’d felt in a long time, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the human contact.

This was nice. Really nice. It was easy to imagine being with her when she was relaxed and warm and soft in his arms like this. Not that he hadn’t imagined being with her before. Idly. In the most private recesses of his mind. And promptly banished the mental image almost as soon as it popped up.

He’d actually gulped when she’d casually mentioned having fantasized about him for the past year. It had been right on the tip of his tongue to ask her what her fantasies were and to compare them with his.

But that was all they were. Fantasies. The two of them could never have a relationship. Cal made an exception for Sherri and Griffin because Sherri was stuck having to go through BUD/S, which sucked, and she was stuck doing all the media circus shows related to being the first woman SEAL, which sucked even more. As it was, Sherri would never be sent out on a mission with Griffin, and the two of them had already agreed to that condition of their dating.

No way would Cal condone a relationship between him and Anna. It was okay for women SEALs to date other SEALs—on other teams. Not on their own teams.

He shuddered to even think about what it would do to team morale to have couples working within a team. God. One lovers’ spat that blew up in the middle of an op and the whole team could die. Nope. He and Anna dating would set a terrible and intolerable precedent for future women on the teams.

Life in a spec ops team was like being part of a beehive. Everyone operated in sync with one another. They all knew one another’s thoughts and dreams, habits and personal ticks. They functioned as a single, smoothly operating organism, closer than family, more connected than lovers, operating with one mind, one goal, one purpose.

Injecting romantic relationships into that dynamic would be a disaster.

And he had no right to draw her away from her team just as she was coming into sync with her teammates. He needed to get off this plane, get away from her as fast as possible, and get across the border into Pakistan ASAP.

But for the next two hours or so, he could hold her in his arms while she slept and fantasize about what could never be.

CHAPTEREIGHT

Upon arrival in Zagistan, a Customs officer hassled Anna for trying to speak for her male companion. She was forced to step back and let Trevor explain in halting, inadequate Zagari that the two of them were here to attend a wedding.

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