Page 67 of Dirty Pucking Tease

"Me not being ready to tell people about us changes nothing about how I feel about you, Kai."

"And how do you feel about me, Jax? Because I thought you didn't care."

"I can't stand the thought of anyone touching you." That didn't answer my question.

"So you don't want me, but you don't want anyone else to have me either." I tried to control the tremble in my voice, but there was no use.

"Kai," he sighed, his eyes and jaw softening. I sat silently, pleading with him to tell me I was wrong. To tell me anything, but it never came.

"Just get out, Jax. Everyone was right; I shouldn't have come." He opened his mouth like he was going to argue. "Please, just go." I pointed to the door, and his mouth snapped shut as he nodded.

The door opened, and Jax disappeared, but before it closed, Cam pushed her way through.

"You okay?" she asked, climbing onto her bed.

I shrugged. I didn't know what I was. "I don't understand him."

"Jax is just as confused right now." She sighed. "He's in love with you but terrified of commitment, and that's why you shouldn't bring Alex to things like this."

"He asked if I was trying to make him jealous."

"I would ask the same thing if I didn't know you so well, but I do think you need to get your head out of your ass." She laughed. "How would you feel if you saw him with someone else at the bar?" I'd never looked at it that way.

"It would hurt."

"Just because you're not willing to wait for him to get his shit together doesn't mean he's over you."

"You think I was wrong for walking away?"

"Heck no." She scowled. "I think Jax needs to wake the fuck up and get his shit together. I'm just not sure rubbing it in his face at his game was the right way to do it." I nodded as everything sank in. She was right. "I like Alex, and it's obvious he's head over heels for you. He's the guy you deserve, but is he the guy you want?"

Sucking in a deep breath, I fell back on my bed before blowing it out slowly. "I like Alex, and I hate how Jax makes me feel."

"What do you mean?"

"I hate how he's all I can think about when I wake up. I hate how he's who I see every time I close my eyes. I hate how much I miss him when I'm not around him, but most of all, I hate that he doesn't feel the same."

"I think he does, Kai." She sighed. "I just think he's dealing with his own struggles, and no one would blame you for moving on if that's what you want to do."

I didn't know what I wanted to do, but I knew I needed sleep and time to process everything that happened. "Right now, I want to go to sleep and pretend this day never happened."

46

Pacing the tile floor outside my classroom, I couldn't think about anything but Kaia. I hadn't seen her since the night I'd walked out of her hotel room. When she was home, she stayed in her room with every door closed. She'd rearranged her schedule so that we wouldn't be at the rink at the same time anymore, and I hated it.

I hated not seeing her, and I hated that she'd changed her whole schedule to avoid me so she could be with him.

"You're making me dizzy," Owen said from the small bench against the wall. "Could you please sit down?"

We were early to class, like, really early. We usually hung back after practice to skate and see Kaia and Cam, but they didn't come until after we were gone.

"Why don't you just tell Kai how you feel and stop torturing all of us?" My gaze flashed up to Owen as he fell back against the wall, rolling his eyes. "This is really getting old for everyone." He crossed his arms over his dark blue shirt, and my brows pinched. Owen always gave it to me straight, but he never looked annoyed. "Kaia is in love with you, and you're in love with her. Why are you making this so complicated?"

Because it was complicated. At least in my own head. It was like my head and heart were having this colossal fistfight. My head thought this was wrong. She's my stepsister and my heart—my poor stupid heart was raging its own battle. A battle between loving Kaia and knowing what love can do to a person.

I didn't want that to happen to either of us.

Blowing out a heavy sigh, I sank onto the bench beside him. "It's not that simple."

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