Page 79 of Dirty Pucking Tease

He paused, scanning the room until our gazes collided. The corners of his lips curved up, and my heart raced faster than two NASCAR cars closing in on the finish line as he got closer to the table.

"Hey." He leaned in, and I inadvertently retreated. His eyes widened as he snapped back. "I'm so sorry." He held up his hands. "I forgot."

"No." I shook my head, offering a polite smile. I wasn't sure why I'd retreated. It wasn't like I didn't know him, and what was the harm in a hello hug? I honestly didn't know what was wrong with me. This situation could have been so much worse. I was lucky; I only lost a few weeks of memories, not all of them. "I'm sorry. I'm not really sure how to act right now."

He slid into the booth across from me. "Yeah, I guess I don't either."

"I have some questions that I was hoping you could answer." I needed to know if Alex and I were friends or if he was my boyfriend. I needed to know where we left off. I thought I didn't want to know and wanted to start fresh, but it was making me crazy.

He nodded. "Ask anything."

"Are we dating?" I shook my head. That wasn't what I meant. "I mean, were you my boyfriend?"

His lips parted like he was going to answer, but instead, he sucked in a deep breath. Swallowing hard, he shook his head. "No, but not because I didn't want to be."

"Then why?"

"Because of him." The sadness in his tone made my chest ache. I didn't have to ask who the 'him' was because I knew he was talking about Jax, mostly because there was no one else he could be talking about. "You were still in love with him."

"So we were just friends?" My eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

"No... I mean, yes..." He shook his head. "Honestly, I'm not sure we knew what we were doing. You had just finished shooting me down for the four hundredth time, and then ten minutes later, you slid in across from me, and after that, we spent all of our time together. I didn't even know about him until later, and I don't think you realized there were still feelings until the night at the hotel."

"I don't remember any of it."

"But you remember how you felt about him?" I nodded, flashing him a sympathetic look. I didn't want to hurt him. I didn't want to hurt anyone, but I didn't want to be dishonest either. "And you don't remember what happened between the two of you that made you walk away?"

"He told me, but no, I don't remember."

He nodded. "Is this where you end things with me?" There was a hint of sadness in his eyes.

When I walked into the bar, I didn't intend to say goodbye to him, but after hearing everything he said, I honestly didn't know what to do. It was obvious even with Alex, I was still in love with Jax, and it wasn't really fair to string Alex along, but the fear of making a rash decision that I would regret when I regained my memory was overwhelming.

"Honestly, I came here intending to start from scratch and see if you were willing to give me some time and a few dates to get to know you..."

"But?"

"But I feel like it may be unfair to ask you to wait for me when it seems like I need to figure out how I really feel about Jax."

"I'm going to say the same thing to you now that I told you at the hotel after Jax's game." He forced a smile. "I like you, and I will fight every day for you if there's something to fight for, but if your heart is with him, then you are not mine to fight for." His tongue swept out, and he shoved his hand through his dark hair. "And I believe your heart still belongs to him, right?" My lips parted, but nothing came out. My words lodged tightly in my throat. I didn't know how to answer that. "I think it always did."

"I wish I could remember something different, but I don't."

"I understand. I hope he treats you like you deserve to be treated this time, but if he doesn't, you have my number." His gaze shifted to the bar. "Looks like he's waiting for you to comeback to him." He nodded his head toward the bar, and my gaze followed his line of sight to see Jax sitting at the bar with Owen and Cam.

Even though he knew I was out with Alex, he didn't know I was here. My gaze shifted between the three of them as they each threw back a shot and laughed about something Cam said, and I realized that was where I belonged.

54

Stumbling through the front door, I dropped my keys on the counter. I felt defeated, and no amount of alcohol could change that after watching Kaia leave the bar with Alex. Even worse, it was almost one a.m., and she still wasn't home. My chest ached, knowing there was a chance that she'd choose him after hearing his truth.

I strolled up the stairs and into my room, kicking the door closed behind me before twisting and falling onto my bed.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket, staring at the black screen. No new messages or calls. Pressing my lips into a tight line, I swiped up and clicked on Kaia's name. It was one in the morning, so I should just check on her to make sure she was okay.

Jaxtyn: Just checking on you.

I hit send. The message went through, and as soon as the 'delivered' popped up under the message, I heard a chime from her room. I shifted to a sitting position with my feet on the floor, narrowing my eyes on the bathroom door that led to her room.

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