Page 61 of Dirty Pucking Tease

"I'll hang out, and we can talk when you get off," he said, his brows pinched and his gaze fixed over my shoulder. I turned around to follow his line of sight. "Isn't that the guy from the Cages?" I nodded. "He was here the other night, too."

"He's here every night."

"Every night." Jax laughed sarcastically. "The food here is terrible."

"Every night I work." His gaze snapped to me as his eyes widened in understanding. Jax's shoulders bowed in aggression as he shifted to move toward Alex, but I stepped in front of him, blocking his path. "No!"

"So you told him no, and what, he's not accepting no for an answer?"

"He doesn't see the harm in asking me out every night since I'm single."

"You're not single."

"But I am Jax. I am unless we are alone." His eyes narrowed on me, but he knew I was right. "You can't have it both ways. You tell the puck bunnies you're single and let them flirt with you." I shrugged. "I thought this was how we did this."

He blew out a defeated breath as his anger dissipated. "Jax," I sighed. "I can't be your dirty little secret anymore. Either you're all in, or I'm walking away." I wanted him to choose me so badly it hurt, but he didn't. He just stood there silent. Swallowing hard, I nodded. "This relationship served its purpose, and for that, I'm thankful."

"Kai."

"It's okay, Jax." I forced a smile. "Friends?" Hurt flashed across his face, but he didn't fight for me, and I knew I'd made the right decision. There was no future for Jax and me.

"Friends," he repeated.

"You should head home."

"I'll wait and give you a ride home."

My gaze flicked over my shoulder to Alex, who was watching the game on the big screen TV across from him. "No, thanks. I have a ride."

41

"Another one," I shouted, holding my shot glass up to the bartender as she passed by. She nodded, and I dropped my arm. It was getting near last call, and I wasn't even close to being drunk enough not to feel the aching pain in my chest.

What the fuck was wrong with me?

She wanted one thing from me, one, and I couldn't do it. She left an hour ago with her fighter, the one who was willing to fight for her because, for some stupid reason, I couldn't. I was terrified of love. I was terrified of being in love. I saw what love did to a person. I saw what it did to my mom. It destroyed her, and Kaia's dad was left to pick up the pieces.

I never wanted to do that to someone, to break them like my father broke my mother, but even more than that, I didn't want to feel the level of heartbreak that made you stop eating for so long that you dropped three pant sizes or made you cry everywhere… in the shower, in the car, cooking dinner. So, I went to extremes to protect my heart, and yet here I was, sitting at this bar alone with an ache so deep in my chest I was pretty sure my heart was shattered, and I still couldn't say the words'I'm in love with Kaia.' I couldn't give her what she needed, which was true confirmation that she was mine and I was hers.

So, now, I sat alone at a bar, drowning my heartbreak in whatever clear liquid the bartender was serving.

"Jax?" My lip curled into a snarl as I groaned. It was Cam, and I wasn't in the mood for her right now. I wasn't in the mood for anybody. I wanted to be alone. "What's going on?" Her tone was thick with concern, like she already knew something was going on. She slid onto the stool next to me.

"Not now, Cam," I slurred.

"Where's Kaia?"

I twisted in my chair, my gaze locking with hers. "She left with her fighter boyfriend about an hour ago."

Her eyes widened. "And... You... Let her?"

"She dumped me." My head sank, and I twisted back to the bar in time for the bartender to slide me another one.

"What can I get you?" the bartender asked Cam.

"I'm good, thank you." The bartender smiled and nodded before sliding to the next customer. "What happened?"

I shrugged. I didn't want to talk about it. I wanted to drink until I was so drunk that I forgot my name. "Jax." But I also knew she wouldn't give up, and I couldn't make her leave.

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