Page 32 of His Cowboy Heart

Flynn sounded almost desperate. Was all of this some ruse to force me into talking about what had happened in the hotel?

“Okay,” I murmured. It wasn’t like I could just get off the horse and walk back to the ranch. I had no idea how far away from it we were and even if I had known, I’d never be able to find my way back alone.

We ended up not speaking again once Flynn got BJ going. The higher we got, the more treacherous the trail became because of all the rocks and exposed tree roots. As Flynn had said, though, the ride remained smooth. At worst, I had to hang on to him a little tighter as we went higher up, but I couldn’t really call that a downside.

I used the time to study the scenery. I’d been so busy avoiding contact with Flynn during the first part of the ride, I hadn’t been paying attention to our surroundings. Now, as I took in the gorgeous mountains that seemed to surround us from every direction, I realized we weren’t really climbing one of those mountains. It was a large hill at the base of one of them. To our left and in front of us were trees. On our right was a valley of tall green grass that became hypnotic to watch because of the way it moved with the breeze.

“Here we go,” Flynn said out of nowhere. It seemed like only minutes since we’d last spoken out loud, but since we were at the top of the hill, it had obviously been longer. I’d just happened to get lost in our surroundings.

Even though my ass ached from riding on BJ’s bare back, I wanted to stay exactly where I was. Overlooking a world that seemed miles away while discovering something so endlessly beautiful as the snow-capped mountain range made me feel strangely insignificant, but in a good way that I couldn’t really explain.

“So much,” I managed to say as I stared at the seemingly endless miles of white-peaked mountains surrounding us.

“Makes you realize what a small part of the world you ever see in your life, doesn’t it?”

I had my head resting against Flynn’s back. “Yeah.” A sense of calm that was unlike anything I’d ever experienced overwhelmed me as I stared at the mountain range. A few of the mountains had what looked like tiny valleys between them. I couldn’t see Eden, but I knew it was in one of those valleys.

“Thank you for showing me this, Flynn. I’ve seen pictures of landscapes like this but actually being here… there’s no comparison.”

“I’m glad you like it, but this isn’t what I wanted to show you—well, not the only thing, anyway,” Flynn said. He shifted his weight enough to indicate he was getting off the horse, so I released my hold on him. I tried to figure out how to get down by myself, but Flynn took care of that too by lifting me off the horse. Thankfully, he waited until my legs could hold my weight again before he released me. After grabbing a small sack and his rifle from the saddle, he proceeded to remove both the saddle and the bridle from BJ.

“What are you doing? What if he takes off? We’ll be stuck up here,” I exclaimed.

Instead of responding to me, Flynn gave his horse a pat and said, “First he doesn’t trust you to get us up here and then he accuses you of ditching us. I think any future apologies are going to need to come with a carrot or two, what do you think?”

The horse actually turned his whole body so he could press his big head against Flynn’s chest.

Lucky horse.

“Okay, okay, carrots it is,” I conceded as I ran my hand over the horse’s neck. “By the way, your hair is gorgeous, Banana Jammies.” I said as I ran my fingers through the long, soft hair that hung in waves along the horse’s neck. To my surprise, the horse turned and nudged me with his head. “Okay, okay, Banana, I am very sorry for ever doubting you and also for making fun of your…” I paused long enough to find the right word. “Inspiredname.”

I chuckled when BJ’s soft lips flapped gently along my neck. When he was done, I whispered, “Now that was a kiss to remember.” My eyes met Flynn’s. “One of many,” I added without thinking.

Just like that, the air sizzled around us as Flynn and I kept our gazes locked. It was BJ who broke through the sensual fog by gently nuzzling Flynn’s chest before wandering off to chew on some grass. “It’s like he knows,” I said softly as I watched BJ for a moment and then looked back at Flynn.

“Knows what?” Flynn asked even as I rebuked myself for saying the words out loud.

“Nothing,” I said with a shake of my head, but since I’d dropped my eyes to Flynn’s chest, I could tell he knew what I was talking about. I hesitated before saying in all honesty, “It’s like he knows how close he came to losing you.”

My voice caught on the last couple of words. A chill went through me as I considered what it would be like if all the medical professionals who’d worked on Flynn hadn’t been so determined to save his life. How many times over the past couple of days had I wished I’d never met the confounding man? I hadn’t meant any of it, of course. Despite everything that had happened between us, the idea of Flynn not having been a part of my life, if even for a handful of days, made me sick to my stomach. I began shaking violently as I thought about what it would be like if Flynn wasn’t a part of the world… a part ofmyworld.

“Hey, hey,” I heard Flynn say, but he sounded far away. What if his heart gave out at that very moment? I wouldn’t be able to save him. I shook my head vehemently. I couldn’t lose him… not like that.

Something heavy was draped over my shoulders, but it wasn’t until Flynn put his arms around me and held me tight that I finally began to feel a spark of warmth return to my body. I clung to Flynn so hard that no one, not even God Himself, could take him from me.

I wasn’t sure how long we stood there like that, but by the time Flynn whispered something I couldn’t make out into my ear before releasing me, the shaking had stopped. I realized he had put his heavy leather sheepskin jacket on me. Flynn took my hand in his and began leading me toward a large tree. Once we reached it, he released my hand so he could put the rifle and a blanket he retrieved from the sack on the ground. He grabbed something else from the bag and then sat down so that his back was resting against the tree. When he urged me to sit between his legs so that my back was to his front, I didn’t hesitate.

For the moment, we only existed at the top of that hill. The ranch, the motel, the town of Eden—they all just disappeared. I was happy to forget all of it as Flynn’s arms encircled my body and he rested his head in the crook of my neck.

“I knew from an early age that I was different,” Flynn said. “In many ways,” he added.

I lifted my hands so they could rest on Flynn’s arms.

“Big families were common in the town I grew up in. Besides having lots of brothers and sisters, I had uncles and aunts, countless cousins, and God knows how many other relatives. Even though my family was beyond dysfunctional, there was one thing that my parents drilled into all our heads from the moment we were born. Family first. Always,” Flynn said heavily.

I didn’t speak the words, but I could relate. I might not have come from a big family, but I understood dysfunction and loyalty all too well.

“I met Frank by pure chance. Since most of the money that came into the family ended up being snorted, injected, or poured into one’s body, we didn’t always have enough food. All the men in the family were given a rifle as soon as they were old enough to hold it and when we weren’t at work, we were expected to be in the woods hunting for anything with four legs or a pair of wings. I’d go out with a couple of my brothers, but as soon as we split up to look for game, I’d spend my time studying the wildlife instead of shooting anything that moved. One day when I was around twelve or thirteen, I got so caught up in tracking some animal prints that I didn’t notice how late it had gotten or how far from the house I’d strayed. By the time the sun fell, I was hopelessly lost. I spent hours trying to find my way home, but I was just walking in circles. Even though my parents preached loyalty to the family, I knew they wouldn’t be searching for me.”

---