Page 30 of His Cowboy Heart

That was the question that kept running through my head as my ass rubbed back and forth over the horse’s back. There were a lot of other questions too. Like what in God’s name had made me say yes to Flynn’s invitation? What had I been thinking when I’d allowed him to observe me in what should have been a private moment? I hadn’t put on makeup or any of the few clubbing outfits I’d brought with me since the day I’d been assaulted in the alley in town.

And what insanity had I experienced when Flynn had kissed me… and I’d kissed him back?

He’d once again been the man who’d shown me such an intimate part of who he was in the motel, and there had been no denying that he really did desire me. In the privacy of that room, he’d held me in his arms as he’d slept while I’d struggled with dozens of questions about his heart attacks and his life before and after the events.

At some point, I’d fallen asleep but when I’d awoken to his touch, there’d been such a light inside of me that I was sure Flynn and I had reached a point where I could let that light shine freely, even whenever he and I were near one another. As he’d explored my face and hair while I’d feigned sleep, all those stupid happily ever after stories had come rushing back. I’d known there would be plenty of time to unpack everything he’d told me, so I’d focused on pleasuring him like he deserved.

Only to land on my ass.

Literally.

Granted, my ass had ended up on the bed after Flynn had jumped up like he’d been burned, but the message couldn’t have been any clearer.

Hedidn’twant me. Not really.

Flynn might have been attracted to me, but whatever intimacy I thought there’d been between us when he’d revealed the scar on his chest had been another lie. One that I still couldn’t make sense of. I’d been so sure that he’d wanted to explore our sexual chemistry when I’d woken up, but the second I’d touched his dick, it was like a switch inside of him had been flipped and then he’d been gone.

Flynn had left me in a cheap, dimly lit motel room like I was nothing more than someone whose company he’d paid for and no longer wanted.

Upon getting back to the ranch and hiding out in my room instead of joining Brooks and the others for dinner, I’d started to replay the exact events of the morning in my head. Flynn had been into the kissing and exploring, but at some point he’d told me to stop.

Repeatedly.

And I hadn’t.

So I’d deserved to end up on my ass. The idea that I’d taken advantage of Flynn made me sick to my stomach. Being around him in the days that had followed had been too much for my brain to handle so I’d mentally shut down, a skill I’d learned at a very young age.

After the first couple of run-ins with Flynn the day after the incident at the motel, I’d figured that he’d get the message that I didn’t want an apology or explanation.

I’d just wanted to forget the whole thing.

Yet here I was, sliding back and forth on the ass end of a horse just so Flynn could show me something. One look at the man in the reflection of my mirror after he’d called me beautiful as I’d played dress-up and I’d been unable to deny him anything. No one, especially Flynn, was supposed to have seen me like that. For the life of me, I still couldn’t figure out if I’d accidentally forgotten to lock my bedroom door or if I’d subconsciously left it unlocked on the off chance Flynn would seek me out.

Now, as I struggled to maintain my balance, I opened my mouth to tell Flynn that I’d changed my mind about the whole thing but then he was pulling his horse, BJ, to a stop.

As ugly as things had gotten after the trip to the hospital and the events that had followed, there was one memory I’d been unable to mentally pack away. When Flynn had told me what his horse’s initials had stood for and then said he used the animal’s full name when it was just the two of them, I’d laughed so hard I’d cried. I couldn’t remember doing anything like that before. Watching my hot cowboy trip over his tongue as he tried to explain himself only to have the man’s mouth stealing my breath only moments later… how was I ever supposed to forget that?

Everything from that moment on had been a roller coaster of hot and cold.

I didn’t know what the temperature was at the moment. I was too damn uncomfortable.

Flynn cast a glance at me over his shoulder. “The next part of the trail is kind of steep. You’re going to need to hold on to me, or I can put you in front of me.”

Thosewere my choices? Wrap my arms around the man and press myself against his back or sit infrontof him? Holy hell, did he mean I’d basically be sitting on his lap?

“It might be easier on your horse if I walk,” I suggested. The idea of climbing a mountain in my Prada boots wasn’t appealing, but being physically connected to Flynn in any kind of intimate way was even less attractive.

“It’ll take all day and a lot of breaks to try and walk it. BJ’s sure-footed, I promise.”

BJ’s feet weren’t the problem.

“It’ll be worth it, Jules,” Flynn added.

“Fine,” I groused. I shimmied closer to the back of the saddle which Flynn’s ass filled out nicely. I’d been hanging on to the back of the saddle as best as I could without having to touch him, but since that apparently wasn’t an option anymore, I scooted forward until my groin nearly touched the back of the saddle. I fisted the back of Flynn’s jacket. He responded by taking my arms and securing them around his waist before making a soft sound that had BJ moving.

The trail did indeed grow steeper and it wasn’t long before I found myself hanging on to Flynn for dear life. “Talk to me,” I blurted.

“What?” Flynn asked.

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