Page 25 of His Cowboy Heart

I fully expected Flynn to rip me apart with cruel words the second he kicked the motel room door shut, plunging us into darkness, but instead, his mouth crushed down on mine. There was nothing gentle or patient about the kiss. In fact, it seemed like Flynn was trying to punish me with how roughly he was handling me as he consumed my mouth and simultaneously walked me backwards until my legs hit the bed.

If this was the way the man disciplined someone, he’d have a line of women and probably just as many gay men lined up outside the room from here to New York. Thank God I wasn’t at the back of that line.

I groaned as Flynn took control of my mouth, my body, my senses. I welcomed his weight as he pressed me onto the mattress. I couldn’t have gotten away even if I’d wanted to because he outweighed me by so much. He wasn’t crushing me, though, and while I didn’t feel the pain in my arm at the moment, I couldn’t help but notice the way he was keeping from putting any kind of pressure on the injury.

By the time Flynn broke the kiss, my heart was pounding so hard that it felt like I could actually hear my blood running through my veins. It occurred to me that I should be shoving the man off me, or at least trying to, but instead, I’d wrapped my legs around his waist. My cock felt like it was going to bust right through the zipper of my jeans while my whole body was going up in flames. The second Flynn’s mouth was back on mine, he let out a harsh groan. All the rational arguments I’d lobbed at him by the truck had disappeared before he’d even finished bribing the maid to give us the room, so I didn’t bother playing it coy. Instead, I kissed him back and slid my good arm between our bodies.

A belt buckle.

The man was wearing a big-as-fuck belt buckle.

One that I’d never be able to get off with one hand in the dark. Unfortunately, the top of his zipper was hidden beneath the belt buckle. “Roll over,” I demanded between kisses. I continued to fight the belt buckle because I was that desperate. “Are you negative because I need to taste you…allof you.”

Just like that, the kissing stopped. I was overjoyed and didn’t give a crap about my hypocrisy. Even if all I got was Flynn’s thick dick gagging me as he fucked my mouth, I’d die a happy man. I doubted I’d even need to jerk myself off while blowing him. The second he began spilling down my throat, I’d be a goner.

When Flynn lifted his weight off of me, I was already in the process of shifting my body so I’d be able to slip to my knees between his legs once he rolled over. I was getting one chance with this man and as wrong as what I was doing was, I didn’t care. Lust was so much more powerful than reason.

Once Flynn had moved, I shifted to get into the position I wanted but then light suddenly flooded the room, temporarily blinding me. My first thought was that Flynn was going to do exactly what I’d said he wouldn’t have the guts to do. He was going to keep the lights on so he’d know exactly who was blowing him. He wouldn’t be able to hide away in the dark and pretend.

Little zaps of electricity popped beneath my skin as I waited for Flynn to get into position, but once the lights were on, he merely sat down on the mattress, several feet from me. His head was hung and his whole body practically screamed what he was feeling.

Shame.

Cold swept through me as reality kicked in. He’d brought me into the room to yell at me in private rather than continue our fight in the parking lot. As always, things had gone too far too fast. But he’d been the one to kiss me first, right? Or had I gotten that part wrong? God, what if he’d pushed me into the room and grabbed me so he could unleash his anger on me, andI’dread the signs wrong? What if Ihadkissedhim? What ifI’dmade that first move?

Something I’d sworn I would never do again.

I felt sick to my stomach. Flynn didn’t move or speak. He didn’t even look at me as I carefully sat up. However, the second I made my move to escape not only him but the room itself, he grabbed my wrist.

The uninjured one.

I didn’t fight him. I couldn’t. I was too numb. I’d learned a long time ago not to let anyone ever hold this kind of control over me, but obviously it had all been some stupid theory that had never been put to the test. Was it just this man who made it so that my need to be with him overrode my instinct to escape him? I was a deer in headlights. Instinct told me to run while the blinding lights mesmerized me, preventing me from realizing my life was in jeopardy.

Flynn’s body was anything but welcoming as he tugged me toward him and his eyes had yet to meet mine, but despite every warning bell going off in my head, I went to him. I didn’t resist when the regret in his eyes met mine as soon as he looked at me. I didn’t stop him while he continued to pull me forward. Even when he urged me to straddle his lap in the most intimate of ways, I did it without protest.

I wanted to go. I wanted to stay. I…wanted.

When Flynn released his hold on my wrist, I could have gotten away. I had a feeling he would have let me. Whatever anger had been in him when we’d entered the room was gone.

It was gone for both of us.

But there was no pleasure. No rush, no relief, no physical release, no natural high, no wondering what it all meant.

Flynn’s eyes dropped to my injured arm. He reached for my fingers and gently lifted my arm but only so he could kiss the outside of my fingers. The featherlight kiss would have ordinarily had my insides fluttering with excitement.

All I felt was dread.

I didn’t move as Flynn took my other hand. He kissed that one too and then he maneuvered both of my hands to the first button on his plaid shirt. He used his fingers to manipulate mine to work the button until it was open. He did the same with the next button. Then he released me. I understood the message and slowly began working the rest of the buttons free. It wasn’t until one of my fingertips grazed something on his chest that I stilled.

No, no, no.

I kept whispering the word over and over, but with each button I opened, I felt the thick raised flesh brush my skin.

I stopped unbuttoning the shirt once I reached his stomach. The point wasn’t to get his shirt off so we could continue where we’d left off just before he’d turned on the light. No, his point was so very, very different.

It was intimate, but not in the way I’d imagined it would be just moments earlier.

I lifted my eyes only to see that Flynn was staring at the nightstand. Was he actually ashamed? Did he think so little of me?

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