Page 28 of His Cowboy Heart

I spent two days trying to get him to speak to me again, but his response hadn’t changed.

Don’t.

I’d heard the same word every time I’d managed to track him down on the ranch and yet that was all he’d say. At times, he hadn’t even needed to say the word out loud because everything about the way he held himself in my presence practically screamed the word.

Gone were the verbal jabs. He didn’t sneak looks at me when he thought I wasn’t looking. No matter what words I used to begin the conversation that would give me the chance to explain my behavior in the motel room, they were cut off almost instantaneously with that cutting word.

Don’t.

The hardest part was that even the few times I’d kept talking after he’d commanded me not to, he merely tuned me out. He didn’t try to escape to the house or come up with an excuse to leave wherever we were. He merely continued on with whatever he was doing. I’d ceased to exist. All his light was gone, stolen from him by a coward who’d been inadvertently toying with him from the moment we’d met.

I could live with the fact that Jules had no desire to speak to me, but what I couldn’t deal with was that I was the one who’d stolen that special light of his. I was the one who caused him to fake happiness whenever I saw him interact with Brooks and the other few people he had contact with.

With every disappointing encounter, my guilt turned to angry guilt. I was a selfish asshole, and I could live with a lot of things, but I couldn’t be the reason Jules stopped being who he was. My gut was telling me that ever since he’d been attacked in town, he’d had to give up the very things that were a part of his identity. I hadn’t seen any polish on his nails. He might have had some kind of eyeliner on once or twice, but that had been the first couple of times I’d run into him.

Everything about Jules was unrecognizable now.

That was about to change.

It was Saturday, and most of the ranch hands had gone to the town fair. As far as I could tell, Jules was the only one in the house because Xavier and Brooks had gone to the fair, along with Xavier’s younger sister, and Curtis had gone for a ride on his beloved horse, Grover.

The Range Rover was sitting in front of the house, so I knew Jules hadn’t left the ranch. I had no clue what I would do this time that would be any different than the last time I’d tried to talk to him, but I was done trying to take the subtle approach.

Subtle didn’t work with Jules.

I normally wasn’t good at subtle, but I’d already let things go further in the past two days than I should have. My cowardice had stopped me from pushing Jules too hard.

The house was quiet as I entered through the kitchen door. I wasn’t surprised to find it unlocked because no one ever thought to lock the damn thing. I supposed it was a middle-of-nowhere mentality, but I’d grown up knowing that even the people you trusted the most could turn on you in an instant.

I didn’t bother to knock on Jules’s door first because I knew he’d only lock it if he realized it was me on the other side. I turned the knob and opened the door to his bedroom a little bit before knocking quietly.

When there was no response, I opened the door farther only to find the room empty. I wondered how the hell I’d missed him until I heard the slight shift of what sounded like a chair sliding across tile in the bathroom.

“Jules?” I called, but predictably, there was no answer.

Reluctant to invade his privacy, I raised my voice, but when he still failed to respond, I blew out my breath. The man definitely wasn’t going to make it easy on me, not that I deserved it.

I went toward the bathroom, calling Jules’s name a few times so he’d know I was there, but it wasn’t until I reached the open bathroom door that I realized why he hadn’t responded.

Jules had wireless earbuds in his ears, and although I couldn’t hear what he was listening to, I could see an album cover on the screen of his phone. If that’d been the only thing going on, I probably would have made my presence known then and there, but as it was, I couldn’t take my eyes off him.

Jules was nearly unrecognizable. He was sitting in front of a small vanity mirror with bright lights running around the sides. His hair was styled with something that made the glossy black strands look blue, and from his reflection in the mirror, I could see that he’d swept the hair above his forehead off to the side. A fascinating mixture of blue, black, and purple makeup was expertly applied to his eyes, making their emerald shade stand out even more than usual. I knew nothing about makeup, but he’d used it in a way that made his cheeks look more sharply defined and his already perfect lips even more kissable. He was wearing a black see-through, long-sleeved top over a solid black tank top. Since he was sitting, I could only tell that his pants were also black.

He was dressed for a night on the town.

Only not in a town like Eden.

He belonged in a trendy club somewhere in a big city where the blend of his feminine and masculine features would turn heads in a good way. I could envision all the men flocking to him.

I stood frozen in place as Jules seemed to study every aspect of his makeup. He’d grab a sponge or brush every few seconds to deal with whatever he perceived to be a flaw. I couldn’t help that notice his nails shimmered with pink polish.

The polish he’d bought the day we’d first met and I’d ultimately returned to him.

An elaborate strand of dark beads was wound through his fingers and looped around his wrist to form connected rings and a bracelet at the same time.

Seemingly satisfied with how he looked, Jules stared at himself for a good minute. I could practically feel the tension draining from his system. There was no hiding the despair in his eyes, though.

Jules let out a sigh and then reached for a wet cloth.

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