Brooks nodded, that expression of joy back and shining brightly.
“Okay, so he fucked you in his house for the first time.”
“No… yes… no…” Brooks sputtered. “The first time we were together was in his house but not the bed.”
“Got it,” I responded with a nod. “Making a mental note to come back to that a bit later,” I added.
Brooks gave me another shove and then started to get off the bed. I pulled him back down. “Okay, okay, Juliet. Tell me all about you and your Romeo’s special day.”
“We never did it in a bed until after you got here.”
I lifted my eyebrows at that. I opened my mouth to ask what role I had played in their sex games, but Brooks covered my mouth with his hand again. “Before he came to that motel to find me, we’d only done it a couple of times and it was just sex, you know?”
I doubted any moment the two men had been together had been “just sex,” but I held my tongue and merely nodded.
“Since then, we’ve made love in all these different places, but today he took me to his house.Hishouse.”
“It changed things,” I offered because I understood what Brooks was trying to explain now.
Brooks nodded. “I thought it was going to be like the first time, but at some point he’d put a mattress on the floor in the master bedroom. There wasn’t any furniture in the house before. There were also all these candles all around the room.” He sighed contentedly.
“He let you in,” I said simply. Xavier had taken Brooks to a place that represented Xavier’s future. Making love in that place gave Brooks a hopeful glimpse into a future he wanted desperately to include him.
I automatically opened my mouth to warn Brooks not to read too much into Xavier’s romantic overture, but then I shut it. I couldn’t protect Brooks’s heart, no matter which way this whole thing ended up playing out. The most I could do was be there for him regardless.
“You really do love him, don’t you?” I asked, more out of wonderment than anything else. I’d had plenty of sex and even what I’d thought had been a real relationship until I’d learned the guy was married with two kids and a third on the way. Before I learned the truth about the asshole’s marital status, I’d been certain he was it for me, but after I’d kicked him out of my bed and out of my life, I’d realized it wasn’t love I’d been feeling. I’d been waiting for the fairy-tale ending, but between the guys who only wanted me for one night and the fucker who’d lied to me, that little sliver of hope had gotten stomped on so badly that I wasn’t sure if it was truly there anymore.
Damn hot cowboys with their stupid hats and hot asses in snug jeans and their caveman mentality that couldn’t even help them recognize one gender from another.
Brooks didn’t say anything, but he did nod. His smile faded. I could practically see his own ray of hope being crushed by doubt and insecurity. If this thing ended badly, I knew it would break him.
“Sweetie, I’ve seen the way that man looks at you. And that shit at the motel…” I shook my head slowly back and forth. “Poor sap looked like his heart was gonna break then and there when he realized the hot little number you were about to do in that motel room?—”
“Jules,” Brooks said in mock irritation before flopping on his back again.
“Okay, okay,” I said as I sidled closer to Brooks so I’d be able to look him in the eye. “You guys might have a lot standing in your way, but I don’t think being in love is going to be an issue for either of you.”
“You think so?” Brooks asked, his voice steeped with hope.
“Do hot country boys suck dick just as good as the city ones?” I joked.
He chuckled. I returned to my position so, like Brooks, I was staring at the plain white ceiling.
“So those extra days in Casper were… productive?” Brooks asked.
My stomach twisted into knots because I hated having to lie to my friend, especially since he’d been so forthcoming with me. I turned my head, masking my expression. “You know me,” I said with a grin. “I’m the?—”
“—life of the party,” Brooks finished for me.
Since there was no reason to tell Brooks that after he’d left with Xavier, I hadn’t done anything more than hide out in the motel room eating shitty delivery food and being the honored guest at my own one-man pity party, I remained silent. My thoughts automatically drifted to all the guys who’d offered to keep me company in that room. I’d coyly said no to them before closing the door in their faces. I’d stared at the shabby bed for a while, wondering what each guy would have done to me in that bed, or what I would have had to do for them, and then I’d turned to whatever bottle of alcohol I’d decided to indulge in. That was the only thing that I’d held between my lips and sucked greedily on for those few days. I’d also paid the price for it when I woke up with the hangover from hell.
“Because you seem… different,” Brooks said. “I’m not saying you shouldn’t after what those assholes in town did?—”
Since the assholes and Hot Cowboy were the last thing I wanted to talk about, I sat up and said, “Not really worth glamming it up when I’d melt like the Wicked Witch of the East or West or wherever the hell she came from. You said it was hot out here, but man, that sun makes me sweat more in five minutes than Studly Stanley did when he reamed me on your dad’s desk the night of last year’s Christmas party.”
“Liar,” Brooks murmured. “We both know Studly Stanley blew his wad about five seconds after you guys locked yourself in thebathroomofmyoffice.”
“Shit, you heard that?” I asked in disbelief as I whipped my head around.