Page 27 of Catching Feelings

Elizabeth77: No, but I’ve never...

I stop typing, unsure how much to admit to this stranger. My face burns, my heart is ready to beat its way out of my chest, I’m mortified and embarrassed to be having this conversation, but I feel safe. Protected by the computer and my fake name.

I may have accidentally let my age and occupation slip, but there are thousands of nurses in Boston.

More than anything, I want to feel liberated. I want to be sexually satisfied, and while I may never have the confidence to speak my desires to my partner, I can voice them here to a stranger.

Elizabeth77: My past boyfriends have all assumed I prefer vanilla to chocolate.

Adam86: Just to be clear, we’re not talking about ice cream, are we?

Elizabeth77: No, we’re not.

Adam86: What is it you want, Elizabeth?

Elizabeth77: I want to get railed so hard I forget my name and can’t walk for two days.

Elizabeth77: I want a guy to talk dirty to me. To say wicked things and manhandle me. I don’t think I want to be whipped or anything sadistic, but I want raw, animal, feral chemistry with a guy. I’ve never experienced that before.

Adam86: fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Adam86: You’re killing me. I think I came in my sweats. Fuck. I already wanted you. Now? Now I want to make your dreams come true and destroy your pussy.

Adam86: Why has no man ever done this to you before?

Elizabeth77: Not to turn you off or anything, but I’m often compared to the girl next door. I guess I throw off sweet and innocent vibes. And, I mean, I am sweet and innocent. I’m genuinely a nice person, but I want to experience raw passion at least once in my life.

Adam86: And you’ve never told any past boyfriends this? Asked them to rail you beyond repair?

Elizabeth77: No. I’ve never felt that sexual need with anyone before.

Adam86: Why are you telling me? Not that I mind. Hell, you can share your wildest sexual fantasies with me morning, noon, and night. I’ll never tire of it.

Elizabeth77: It’s no one’s fault but my own. I don’t like confrontation and would be mortified if a guy rejected me, or worse, if hetriedto make my fantasies come true but couldn’t live up to the part.

Adam86: You’ve been dating the wrong men.

Elizabeth77: I know. I’m attracted to nice guys, and nice guys don’t do the dirty deeds I want done to me.

Adam86: I can be nice and dirty. I can be anything you want me to be.