Page 58 of Fumbling for Perfection

Sick and tired of the deception and lies by omission, I don’t beat around the bush.

“Are you pregnant?”

She doesn’t look at me and nods.

“What are the chances it’s my child? The one time we fucked without a condom you said the timing wasn’t right. How the hell could I get you pregnant then? Who else could it be?” I hate how aggressive I’m acting toward her. It’s not like me. But if what Jackson said is true, that it’s going to be hard for her to get pregnant, it means there’s less of a chance the baby is mine, and that pisses me off even more.

I don’t want kids. I’m not fit to raise them. But during my drive here, I thought about raising a child with Riley, and the thought didn’t make me recoil. What pisses me the fuck off is the possibility this child could be someone else’s.

That another man had his hands, his mouth, his fucking cock inside Riley.

“I’m not sure,” her voice is soft and shaky.

“You’re not sure how many other guys you’ve been with?” I jump to my feet and pace aggressively across her small apartment. I can’t handle the jealousy that rages inside my chest, which is fucking stupid.

“No. You’re the only one I’ve been with in over a year.”

“Explain it to me. You were willing to let me fuck you bare a few weeks ago. Why?”

Her shoulders lift as she takes in a huge breath. “I’m not sure why it was so easy for me to get pregnant with you.”

“I pulled out in your office.”

She quietly clears her throat. “I think I got pregnant in the, um, shower.”

The shower? Hell, we had sex in the shower once. The night we first met. Or rather, the morning after. She willingly let me fuck her without a condom, but I pulled out and came on her back.

Jackson’s parting words ring loud.

Riley wanted to get pregnant, and something tells me Jackson would have been okay with that. Fuck, Kendall practically pushed Riley on my dick that night. Was that her intent? To get knocked up by a stranger and she and Jackson raise it as their own? The next Bankes heir?

The feel of her tight, wet pussy gripping my bare cock was fucking euphoria. I’d only pumped inside her a few times before coming on her back, then on her stomach.

My dick twitches in my slacks. I didn’t even take the time to change before coming over here, which shows my desperation to get to Riley.

To get to the truth.

Fuck it. I was desperate to see her even if I was confused by the feelings I have. Hearing the baby is mine has me pausing in my steps. I can’t look at her yet. I’m afraid of what I’ll see.

Of the sadness that fills her face and wondering if she’s regretful I’m the father. Or regretful of the pregnancy. Or regretful she’s not married to Jackson who can give her financial stability.

I should tell her I can give her the same. And so much more. But I don’t want her to want me because I can take care of her. I don’t want her to want me for what I can do for her.

I wasn’t enough for Sebastian and Lydia to love. Even with the added zeros in my bank account now.

Shoving my hands in my pockets, I stare out the window at the industrial building across the street. This isn’t where I want my child to grow up. While it’s not the worst part of Boston, it’s not the safest either.

There’s so much we need to figure out, but right now I need some space to process the facts.

Riley isn’t marrying my brother.

Riley didn’t technically cheat on him or me.

Riley is pregnant with my child.

Riley is in financial need.

Riley is all I can think about.

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