Page 64 of Fumbling for Perfection

Riley doesn’t argue back, and I see her swallow before nodding. “If that’s what you’d like,” she says softly. “The emergency contact is for me.”

I don’t ask why she doesn’t put her father down. He’s never around, and even if he were, she’s told me about his depression since her mother died. She could put Kendall or Rowan, or even Jackson, but instead she wants me as her emergency contact. That shouldn’t make my chest tighten, but it does.

“Fine.” I go back to my phone, staring at the dark screen.

“It’s asking for your address.”

I give her my address in California and she writes it down.

“Will you be moving to Boston now that you signed with the Revolutions?”

My secret wasn’t destructive like hers. I’m not ashamed of keeping this from her, so I’m not sure why the tingling of guilt creeps up my spine. As soon as I push the guilt away, pride takes its place. She’s either seen the news coverage or searched me online. Either way, I shouldn’t like her interest in me.

While I don’t believe her to be a gold digger, she did trick me into getting her pregnant. The voice at the back of my head tells me there was no trickery involved and that it was pure happenstance, but I need to be angry at her. Which means I need to believe the worst.

It’s what got me through boarding school. Through college and graduation with no one in the audience to support me. Through every NFL game knowing every jersey with my name and number on it in the stands and at home on living room couches were worn by strangers who cared about me more than my own family.

I’m saved from answering her when a nurse calls her name. Riley stands and I remain sitting, not sure if I’m supposed to follow her or stay here. I’ve never been to a doctor’s appointment with anyone else before and have no idea what the protocol is.

She bites her lower lip as she stares down at me. “Are you, um, do you want to come with me?”

“Fine.” Anything more than one word will reveal my nerves. The way Riley folds her lower lip between her teeth tells me she’s nervous enough for the both of us.

Whether it’s because she doesn’t want to be around me or because of the nature of her appointment, I’m unsure. All I am sure of is how desperately I wanted this to play out differently.

“How are you feeling today, Miss Riley?”

“I’m feeling okay. And you can call me Riley.”

“Okay.” The nurse scribbles on her clipboard.

I stand to the side as Riley’s height and weight get measured, and we follow the nurse into a small room.

“You can keep your top on, but jeans and underwear off. You can drape this sheet over your lap while you wait for the sonographer.”

When we’re alone, Riley starts to unbutton her jeans. I stand in awe as she turns her back to me and slides them down. Her ass is as beautiful and soft and round as I remember. My dick twitches and I turn my head to read the poster on the wall behind me.

The inner workings of the vagina and uterus help tame the strain behind my zipper. Until I imagine my cock sliding in her pussy and ramming against her cervix.

The crinkling of paper tells me Riley has hopped up on the table. I don’t turn around until the sonologist enters.

“Hi, Riley. I’m Rebecca,” a petite woman says and shakes Riley’s hand. She looks at me, waiting for introductions.

I don’t speak, letting Riley take the lead. “This is Walker. He’s the baby’s father.”

“It’s nice to meet you both,” the technician says, giving me a polite handshake. “Is this your first ultrasound?”

Riley nods.

The technician washes her hands, snaps on a pair of latex gloves, then covers a wand with a condom and squirts lube on it. “You’ll feel a little pressure, but nothing more than inserting a tampon.”

“What the fuck?” I stare in amazement as the she begins to insert the giant fucking dildo inside Riley. “You can’t—”

“It’s okay.” She laughs. “I’m not putting it all the way in. Just the tip to do an internal ultrasound.”

Just the tip. Yeah. That’s how we got into this predicament.

She taps on a keyboard, and I can’t keep my eyes off where the paper gown has scrunched up, exposing Riley’s mound. When I realize I’m staring, I move my gaze up her bare stomach and stop at her face.

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