Page 56 of Fumbling for Perfection

“Yes. Let’s talk about him. My brother.”

My shoulders sag and I take a step back. When the back of my knees hit the cushions, my legs buckle and I drop onto the couch. I haven’t eaten all day, and with only a bottle of sparkling cider in me, and the combination of a hot bath and a bucket of tears, I’m weak and shaky.

Throw in being pregnant and...

I clutch the ends of my robe and pull them tight to my chest. Does he know? Somehow, he learned where I live. If he knows I’m pregnant and keeping that from him, it will only make him hate me more.

But now isn’t the right time. I’m too weak, too messed up, too scared to have this conversation with him. I haven’t even gone to my OBGYN’s office yet to confirm.

“I’m sorry I misled you, Walker. What happened between us...Jackson was aware the entire time. Not of your identity. I didn’t know you were his brother either, but he wanted me to continue...dating.”

“Is that what we were doing?” Walker lowers his huge frame into the small brown high-back chair across from me. “Dating?”

“I wanted to, but I didn’t want to.”

“Explain.”

I swallow and lift my gaze to his. “I didn’t want to get my heart broken.”

“But breaking mine was okay?”

The band around my chest tightens and I take in Walker’s countenance. He shows no emotion as he stares across the room at me. If I truly broke his heart, he’d be...what? He was angry to learn about me and Jackson, that was obvious and understandable.

But a broken heart?

I swallow the lump in my throat and tuck my legs under my butt. “I’m sorry for everything, Walker. Our...our time together was special to me. When we were together, I could forget about...about everything else. Yes, I was dishonest about agreeing to marry another man, but everything that happened between us was real.”

“If you cared about me, you wouldn’t have strung me along.”

I lower my chin and nod. “When you’d leave, or after our texts, the guilt was overwhelming. I started distancing myself from you because I realized how unfair I was being to both of us. On Wednesday, I didn’t go back to your hotel room because—”

“Because why?” Walker shoots out of his chair. “Were you planning on never talking to me again once you becameMrs. Jackson Bankes? Or were you still planning on fucking me on the side when Jackson was with Taylor?”

My heart stutters in my chest. How the hell does he know about Taylor? If he does anything to jeopardize Taylor’s career...

Taylor is as innocent in this debacle as Walker is, even if he was aware of the plan.

“Walker. I—”

“Don’t.” He closes his eyes and turns his back on me. “You made a fool of me, Riley. And you’re still lying to me.”

Oh, God. My hands instinctively go to my stomach. He may be keeping his life from me, but it’s obvious he has money. And the Bankes name. If he uses that to take my baby away from me, I’ll die.

There’s nothing I’ve ever wanted more than to be a mother. To have a family.

I stand and start to walk toward him but stop myself. “You’re right. We have a lot to talk about. Tonight isn’t the time—”

“Fuck that, Riley.” He jumps from his seat and pierces me with his angry eyes. “Enough with the secrets. The lies. The bullshit. You were never planning on telling me about the baby, were you? You got yourself knocked up and now there’s no need for me anymore. You whored yourself out so you could get pregnant and never planned on telling me or whoever the fuck else could be the father that they have a kid. That was the plan all along, wasn’t it? You so readily spread your legs time after time, welcoming the sperm donor. You didn’t even bother to ask if I wanted kids. I don’t, by the way. Ever.”

My knees buckle and I fall forward. Walker is there before I hit the floor, gripping my arms and pulling me upright.

My eyes fill with tears, and I bite my lower lip to keep the anguish from escaping my lungs. The room spins and I sway to the side. He straightens me and loosens his tight grasp while still holding me up.

“Fuck, Riley. You’re pale as a fucking sheet. Sit.” He lowers me to the couch and I tip my head back and tremble as I fight the wave of tears and nausea.

Walker picks up my legs so I’m stretched on the couch, covers me with a blanket, and I hear him walk away.

He’s leaving me. I deserve this. His anger. His hate. His rejection. This time I don’t fight the tears and let them flow down my cheeks. I curl to my side and would sob if I had the energy. A shadow falls over me and I squint my eyes open to find Walker standing over me with a glass of water.

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