Page 57 of Sorry, We're Closed

“Just a feeling, I guess. We didn’t talk last night, I met with Gwen this morning to talk about how enamoured I am with you, yet we both knew one day this would happen. The world is cruel like that.”

He quietly chuckles to himself again, but I sense it’s to hide our similar sentiments.

“When have you got to leave?”

“In four days.”

He exhales, and I can see his mind thinking, ticking with each rushing thought. I wish to bury myself in his thoughts as his fingers tap rapidly on the back of my hand. Eventually, the tapping pauses, and Sawyer’s voice is softer than I’ve ever heard it.

“When Gwen was here this morning, I expressed emotions and thoughts to her which have been foreign to my mind for so long. I broke down, everything feeling like it was higher than an all-time high, but at least I felt something. I’d taught myself how to ignore emotions, to mask everything in an attempt to make my mother happy, but I lost myself. I didn’t know who I was anymore.”

He pauses, as if he’s considering his next words carefully, and I wouldn’t dare interrupt.

“That was until you came along, Avory.”

My breath hitches in my throat and a smile begins to beam across my face, and I can’t stop it.

“Maybe we were stupid to think this could work, I knew my feelings for you would make this too damn hard. We always knew you would have to leave someday, but I don’t want this feeling, of feeling like myself with you, to ever end.”

“Sawyer, I—”

His finger meets my lips, silencing me in my tracks and something about Sawyer wanting me to listen, wanting to be heard, speaks to me.

“I’ll make you a deal, Avory. We have three meetings left in this very café, if you’re free to. After that, we’ll go our separate ways, and I’ll never forget you and everything you made me realise about myself. I don’t want to waste our time thinking of the future apart, I just want to spend these evenings together, here, doing whatever our hearts desire until…” His voice trails off, and I can see him attempting to hold his word.

No tears, no upset, just us. I don’t know what’s in store for him once I’m gone, but all I know is that he wants this, I want him, and I want him to be himself for as long as possible, because Sawyer’s true self is the reason I feel myself falling in love with him. He’ll just never know that. This seemed like our best solution, and I want to show Sawyer my enthusiasm for his plan.

“Deal?” Sawyer pulls himself away and holds his hand out, making this seem like an official business meeting between a boss and his colleague.

He can be so cute, and what I’m about to do would totally get me fired.

I roll my eyes, followed by a laugh as my hand meets his, mine encasing his delicate and soft hands. I tighten my grip as I pull him towards me once more, his feet stumbling over themselves as he catches himself around my neck. His emerald eyes meet mine over his glasses as I crane my neck down and my lips clash with his, a muffled whimper leaving his lips and causing a searing heat to spread all over my skin. I pull us apart briefly as Sawyer catches his breath.

“Deal, my love. Now hold on.”

I thoroughly enjoy watching Sawyer’s tanned complexion turn scarlet as he struggles to string any sort of sentence together. A smirk plasters my face as my hands trail from his waist, to his behind, to the back of his thighs as I grab him by his linen trousers and pull his entire body weight up, wrapping his thighs around my waist as he crosses his ankles behind me. He weighs practically nothing compared to the days of lugging around performance equipment, making it so much easier to carry him to the counter as he hides away in my neck, his lips taunting my skin, even if he doesn’t realise it.

As soon as he makes contact with the counter, his thighs relax around my hips and his hands can’t figure out if they want to knot themselves into my hair, trace every prominent feature I have on show, or just to rest them on what seems to be his favourite place – my chest.

He makes it obvious how badly he wants to kiss me again, as he forces our lips together, his bottom lip settling nicely between mine and I tease him consistently with bites and licks which make him grow hungrier. I have no plan, no motive for where we could go from here,if Sawyerwants to go anywhere else from here. But all I know is that if we’re agreeing to three visits left together, then I desperately want him to use me for whatever he wants, if it means he can explore as much as possible of his true, real, authentic self before God knows what future is in store for him.

Sawyer’s hands settle on my chest while his tongue dances with mine. Muffled, subdued whimpers escape his mouth and into mine as his touch begins to travel upwards, and his fingers begin fiddling with my top button. He wrestles with two more buttons before pulling away, his mouth hanging open slightly as he steals his warm breath back.

“Avory, is this okay?” He signals to rest of my shirt buttons, and then to my exposed neck and beginning of my chest.

A low chuckle rises from my throat. “Of course it is, Sawyer.”

His blush returns and spreads across his cheek and down his neck.

“And are you okay with my hands on you? Touching your bare skin?”

His head cocks to the side ever so slightly, and if I have to remember Sawyer in one way, it would be this way – a slightly sweaty, blushing, and genuinely smiling Sawyer. I lean my head to his side as I plant a kiss on his neck, causing his neck to tense and a shallow pant to escape his lips.

“Yes Sawyer, and are you okay with more of this? With more of my hands on you?”

“Yes, please Avory.”

My smile rests on his skin for a moment before I begin to trail gentle kisses against his caramel, freckled skin, hearing him resist to let his hums and whimpers escape but he slowly gives in, his harmony being the most gorgeous sound I have ever heard. His fingers fight with the flimsy plastic buttons on my shirt as he slowly frees them all and he begins to peel my shirt off my damp shoulders from the sheer heat.

---