Page 6 of The Secret Of Us

“It’s Daisy.” She bounces on her heels as she types something. “She said her parents have left, so she wants to hang out.”

“Have fun. Text me if you need anything.”

She’s already halfway out the door before I can even finish my sentence, but at least she remembers to close it behind her.

I’m alone for the first time today. I sit in the quiet, the only sounds coming from outside: muffled chatter, car doors slamming, and engines running as students move in.

I glance out of my fourth-storey window, a perfect view of the edge of the car park and the field in between the two dorm buildings. For a few moments, I watch students saying goodbye to their parents before finding their friends, settling into clusters on the grass as they catch up with each other after a long summer break.

I don’t expect to ever join one of the groups I see below. I used to be part of one, thinking I’d met the people I’d be friends with for the rest of my life. But once everything happened and I left school, they all stopped talking to me. Apart from Ravi, who I’ve been forgetting to reply to all day. We were always closest within our group, and I’m glad I didn’t lose him.

Ravi

Text me when you can

Gonna miss seeing you around school

Hope everything went okay today

Noah

Just finished moving in

I’ll miss you too

The message status changes from delivered to read right away, and I feel the corner of my lips tugging upward. Even though it took me a few hours to reply, he won’t keep me waiting for that long.

I swipe out of the thread, closing the app as his name pops up at the top of my screen. I open up the messenger I use to talk to my grandparents, Halabeoji pinned to the top—his message in Korean stares at me, waiting for a response.

Halabeoji

Everything will be okay. I love you.

My face drops instantly, a sigh escaping me. I want to reply to him, but I know once I start talking, the walls I’ve spent the past few days building up will come crumbling down. Spending the summer with him and my Halmeoni helped me forget everything that happened, that I was going to start at a brand new school in my final year, and that my old school decided I should leave when all I did was defend my sister.

I start trying to type a reply, a short message to tell him I’m okay and I appreciate everything he’s done for me. But the words don’t seem to come out in a way that sounds like I’m fine.

Because I’m not.

And I don’t know when I will be.

3

IZZY

My last firstday of school.

It feels weird to say that when everyone else is getting ready for university, but I know it’s the truth. Even after spending my afternoon yesterday on the treadmill, as if I could outrun my own thoughts, I know I won’t be going to university. So this is it. My last first day.

I woke up early today so I could get a quick workout before breakfast, but I lost track of time now, and I’m late to meet the girls. I run back to my room to avoid bumping into the other kids as they walk to the dining hall for breakfast. My legs were already on fire when I left the gym, and now it feels like they’re about to give out.

When I make it to my room, Amelia and Chloe stand outside, waiting for me.

“You have five minutes, or we’re leaving you,” Amelia says. “I don’t want them to run out of pancakes before we get there.”

I push open my door, rushing inside as they follow behind me and sit on the edge of my bed.

“Why didn’t you call me?” I complain, throwing myself into the bathroom for a quick shower.

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