Page 87 of The Secret Of Us

I dream about Izzy.

We didn’t kiss again that night, but I didn’t mind. The memory of the first one was all I needed to keep me happy for the rest of the night.

Eventually, the party started to die down, and Izzy had already made plans to stay at Chloe’s house because she lived closer. I didn’t want to let her go. I wanted to talk about what the kiss meant, ask her when we could do it again. But then she was being herded into a taxi by Chloe and all I could do was kiss her on the cheek as we said goodbye to each other.

The three-day wait to get back to school and see her again was excruciating. We still spoke every day, but nothing compares to actually being with her. As soon as I saw her, I wanted to tell her how I feel, get the confirmation that this isn’t one-sided on my part, and maybe even talk about how we could make this work.

But somehow weeks have gone by without a single conversation about it. It’s like all our teachers switched to high gear, loading us up with homework and revision to get us prepared for final exams. I’ve never had to study so much in my life.

The main issue with that is that I haven’t been able to spend as much time with Izzy. Before Christmas break, we would study together, but now her friends want to spend more time with her so they can revise. I don’t want to intrude on them more than I already have, so I leave them to it.

We still talk every single day though. I make sure to get to homeroom early so I can be there as soon as she arrives, and I cherish the time we spend sitting next to each other in every class we share.

Izzy still insists on showing up for every one of my practices too, even though I’ve told her she doesn’t have to. She quit hockey as soon as we got back to school, and it was like I could physically see the weight being lifted off her shoulders. Since I stopped showing up for her in that way, I expected her to do the same, but she’s there every week.

She’s on the sidelines right now as Luke goes over the final details for the France trip on Saturday. When I turn my head to glance over my shoulder at her, she waves at me, as if she hasn’t been there for the past hour. She looks ridiculously cute, wearing another hoodie of mine that I gave to her, and I have to look away so that she doesn’t see the red on my cheeks.

“You all need to be in the car park by six AM. If you're late, the bus will leave without you. And please don’t forget your passports, or I will leave you at border control.”

“Mr. Reid, is he allowed to say that?” Josh pipes up next to me.

Our teacher just sighs from where he’s standing behind Luke, his head in his hands.

“Lucas, stop threatening the children. We will not leave you behind,” Mr. Reid reassures the team, as Luke throws his hands up in the air.

“Noah, do you feel like I’m threatening you?” He asks me, and I just stare at him. “Okay, well, I’m not.”

I hear Izzy giggle from behind me, and I have to stifle my own.

When Mr. Reid and Luke have finished talking and they dismiss us, I make my way over to Izzy immediately. I throw my arm over her shoulder, and she reaches up to take hold of my hand as we make our way up the stairs.

“Can’t believe you’re abandoning me to go to France,” she jokes.

“Let’s see if we can sneak you into my luggage. Or maybe we can ask Luke to bring you along as a cheerleader.”

“Gross. The only person I want to cheer for is you.”

I drop a kiss to the top of her head, not even bothering to hide my smile as she plays with my fingers.

Nothing that we’re doing feels fake anymore. I couldn’t even tell you if there was anyone watching us right now because she captures all my attention. All these little touches and comments are just for us.

Every day, I get closer to telling her how I feel, but I can never seem to find the right moment. I’m leaving the country for two weeks, so I can’t unload all of this on her when we won’t see each other for a while.

“When are you going home?” I ask her as we reach her building. I hold the door open, and she ducks from under my shoulder to stand in front of me. She takes my hand in hers as we walk to her room.

“Saturday afternoon. I wanted to say goodbye to you before I left.”

“It’s an early start. You don’t have to do that,” I tell her, running my thumb across her knuckles.

“I want to. And I can just go back to sleep after.”

I look down at her and see the smile that lights up my whole life.

We’ve reached her room now, but I don’t want to leave her. I want to spend as much time as I can with her. It’s already the middle of February, and there’s a voice in my head that tells me our time together is running out.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” she asks me.

I don’t hesitate to say yes and follow her into her room.

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