Page 71 of The Secret Of Us

“Normal is boring anyway.”

Izzy lets out a soft laugh and I’ve never been happier to hear it.

“I still need to talk to Isaac about it. He has no idea. But he’s proposing tomorrow, so I don’t want to ruin their moment.”

“You can tell him whenever you’re ready. From everything you’ve said about him, I’m sure he’ll understand.” I hope I’m saying the right things.

Izzy goes quiet again, and I know she’s retreating into herself. It’s something she’s been doing a lot more recently, and it’s such a contrast to the girl I first met.

“We’ll figure it out, Izzy.”

I don’t know exactly how, or if she even wants me involved in this, but I want to help her.

“Thanks, Noah. I’m going to get ready for bed. Big day tomorrow.”

“I hope it all goes well. Let me know what happens.” I tell her, feeling deflated.

“I will. Goodnight, Noah.”

“Goodnight, Izzy.”

I drop my phone next to my ear as soon as she hangs up and cover my eyes with my hands. Usually, after I talk to Izzy, I feel lighter, and as if maybe she could like me as much as I like her. But tonight, it’s the complete opposite.

Izzy has enough problems on her plate without having to deal with me confessing my feelings for her, which are more than likely unrequited. So I force them down again, lock them inside me, and open up my phone to try and find some solutions for her problems.

24

IZZY

After I getoff the phone with Noah, I try to distract myself. I take an everything shower, do my skincare routine, change into my favourite oversized shirt to sleep in, and get cozy in bed with three blankets.

Then I doom scroll until midnight and question my entire existence.

I get out of my cocoon of blankets to get some water, but of course, my bottle is empty. I could text Isaac to refill it, but he’s been out of sorts all evening. He’s nervous about tomorrow, so I don’t want to bother him.

I hop to my door, opening it quietly to avoid disturbing both of them because they’re probably asleep by now. I make my way through the living room, past Isaac and Violet’s room, and toward the kitchen, but just before I enter it, I hear them speaking. They’re usually asleep at this time, so I wonder what’s keeping them up. I move closer to their room, balancing on one foot and shuffling forward on the other. I lean against the wall next to their door.

“I need to see if I can get more hours. Or maybe a second job.” Violet sounds exhausted, and not in a way that’s just from lack of sleep.

“You can’t overwork yourself like that, jaanu. I’ll figure something out, don’t worry,” Isaac reassures her.

“It’s not a small increase, Isaac. We need to bring in another couple hundred a month to be able to afford to stay here.”

“I know,” Isaac lets out a deep sigh. “I’ll figure it out. We just need to stay here for at least another year until Izzy finishes school and gets settled at uni. We can find somewhere else after that.”

My hands clench into fists, my nails digging into my palms.

“You can’t do it all by yourself. Let me help you.”

“You help me by just being with me.”

I push off the wall and hop back to my room as fast as I can, my heartbeat pounding in my ears.

How am I supposed to tell them I don’t want to go to university now? They’re expecting me to leave once school ends, which I should have guessed they’d want since they’re going to get married.

I clamber back into bed, pulling the sheets over my head as I try to calm my racing heart. Once I turn eighteen, Isaac won’t have to be responsible for me anymore. And Violet’s already done more than enough for me, considering we aren’t even really related.

I have to figure out what I’m doing once school ends, and quick.

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