Page 37 of The Secret Of Us

“I’m sorry, I should have told you guys earlier, but I was so scared of what you’d say, and you keep making plans, and now I’m worried I won’t be in those plans, and I-”

“Izzy, breathe,” Amelia says.

I’m panting, my chest heaving as my insecurities flood out of me. My fingers have curled into my palm again, fingernails digging in and giving me something else to focus on other than my two best friends.

I keep my eyes locked on the table, napkins covering it, apart from one spot that still has a puddle of juice. I reach out, swiping at it with one of the already-damp napkins, but it won’t go away.

I keep wiping and wiping, my movements becoming as frantic as my breathing.

Warm hands cover mine, stopping me.

“Izzy, look at us,” Chloe says.

I bite the inside of my cheeks, closing my eyes so I don’t have to, but they don’t give me a choice. Amelia’s arm comes around my shoulder, and she tucks me into her side as Chloe lowers her head so she can catch my gaze.

“What’s going on?” Chloe asks softly.

“I’m not going to university,” I repeat, the words feeling heavy on my tongue.

“That’s fine,” Amelia says, and I see Chloe nod, a small smile on her face. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“But you guys keep talking about it, and I know you’re going to the same one and I won’t be there, and I hate that,” I blurt out.

“Do you…” Chloe’s eyebrows crease together. “Do you think we’re only friends because we go to the same school?”

I shrug because what other reason is there?

“Izzy, we’re friends with you because we love you,” Amelia says, and I close my eyes. “Sure, we met here, and it definitely helps that we see each other all the time. But how many other kids are we here with? I like the people in our class, but I’d choose you over them a million times over.”

“Me too,” Chloe adds, her hand squeezing mine. “I’m sorry if we’ve upset you by talking about all this stuff. You kept saying you were still thinking about it, so we thought maybe we could convince you to come with us. But you don’t have to, if you don’t want to. We’ll be your friends no matter where we are.”

I finally look up at them, and they’re both looking at me with so much care and love in their eyes. How could I ever think they’d exclude me?

“I love you guys,” I tell them, my voice shaky.

“We love you, too,” they reassure me. Amelia puts both of her arms around me, and Chloe leans over the table to join the hug. My heart grows ten times bigger to make more room for them.

“We’ll stop talking about it if you want us to,” Amelia says into my hair.

“No, you shouldn’t have to.” My voice is muffled from where it’s pressed into Amelia’s shoulder. “I love that you guys are still going to be together.”

“No matter what you decide to do, we’ll always be here for you,” Chloe says, dispelling all my fears with just a few simple words.

“Ladies, am I interrupting?”

We all let go of each other, looking to the side of the table to see Josh standing there, his hands raised in front of him, like he’s scared of what he’s walked into.

“We were having a lovely moment, Josh, but now you’ve ruined it,” Amelia remarks. He looks worried for half a second before he realises she’s just kidding.

He takes the seat next to Chloe, stealing a fry from her plate. I get myself together as the three start talking, Amelia and Chloe shifting the topic of conversation away from university and on to a movie they want to see instead.

I listen to my friends talk, my heart settling with the confidence and reassurance that I have them with me for life.

14

NOAH

I don’t wantto admit that I spent most of my evening after classes ended staring at my phone, waiting for a text.

---