Page 3 of The Secret Of Us

Mine are just about to leave too

Izzy

Isaac and Violet just left but I’ve got a few things to unpack

Chloe

Meet in an hour on the green?

Amelia and I respond with the thumbs-up emoji at the same time, and I lock my phone, throwing it behind me on my bed. While Isaac and Luke were going back and forth to get my belongings from the car, Violet and I put the sheets on together. I turn in my chair, running my hand across the soft blanket on top before my fingers grip it.

Although it’s been a while since I left my parents’ house, and I’m happy with my decision to do so, I’ll feel a pang of something like regret every now and then.

Everyone else’s parents show up for them on move-in day, helping them get settled in for the new school year. But I don’t have that anymore, and it feels like I’m missing out on something when I see mothers with their daughters. I know it’s irrational to expect my parents to show up when I chose to leave them, but it still hurts on days like this.

When Isaac had to move out a few summers ago before he started university, I didn’t know what to do with myself. The house felt too empty without him, his absence haunting every interaction I had with my parents. I couldn’t figure out how they could pretend he didn’t exist when he was the most important person to me.

So, a few months later, when it finally sunk in that they weren’t going to let him come back home, I decided it was time for me to leave, too. They let me go without a fight. My fingers tighten on the blanket, creasing it before I let go and smooth it out.

Isaac was worried at first, not wanting me to damage my relationship with our parents just because he didn’t have one with them anymore. But now that time has passed, it’s obvious it was the right decision for both of us.

They still pay my school fees, but apart from that, we barely communicate at all. Occasional texts here and there to check in but nothing meaningful, nothing that tells me to come home. But I’ve made my own home now with Isaac and Violet.

I stand up and start sorting through some of the boxes, trying to distract myself from spiralling. I line up my books—most of them borrowed from Violet—on the shelf above my desk. Then, I unpack more clothes and wonder why I have so many when I spend most of my time in uniform.

An hour passes quickly, and a ping from my phone tells me it’s time to meet my friends. I adjust my star lamp one last time, grabbing my phone before I leave my room.

By the time I make it down to the big field we call the green, Amelia and Chloe are already sitting together. We must have used some form of telepathic communication because we’re all wearing the same outfit: a white T-shirt with blue jeans. It’s a cute outfit, but when we’re gathered like this, it does seem slightly cult-like.

“There she is!”

“Izzy!”

I drop down to join them on the ground, their arms outstretched toward me as I reach for them. We end up in the strangest huddle that somewhat resembles a hug.

“Missed you both so much,” Amelia says as we let go of each other and settle back into a small circle.

“We literally saw each other last week,” Chloe retorts, flicking her dark hair behind her shoulders.

“Meeting outside of school is different from being back here,” Amelia replies.

“Whatever you say,” Chloe says as she turns to me. “Did Violet do your hair again today?”

She reaches out to fiddle with the small braids forming a crown, and I swat her hand away.

“Yes, so don’t mess it up.” I smooth my hair back down, fixing one of the braids back into place. “This is the only time my hair will look nice this year.”

“Ugh, don’t even mention hockey,” Amelia groans, her hands going to the top of her head as she slicks her golden hair back into a ponytail. “Can’t wait to look like this for the rest of the year.”

I take her hands and pull them down.

“You look beautiful either way,” I tell her, and she blows me a kiss.

“Someone tell me that when you see my new mouthguard. I lost my old one so had to get another one fitted,” Chloe grimaces, baring her teeth at us. “I can still taste it.”

The haunting taste of the gum they use to make impressions of our teeth comes back to me, and I shudder. I’ve been lucky enough not to have to go through that horrifying experience again since Year Seven. Though, if I lost it now, I don’t think I’d even bother getting a new one.

I don’t know the exact moment it happened, but I’ve started losing my joy for playing hockey. It used to be something I loved a lot, and Isaac even fought with our parents over letting me play it when I was younger. And I guess that’s why I feel like I can’t drop it now. To stop playing it now, after everything that Isaac had to deal with to follow his own passions, just feels like I’d be betraying him in some way.