Page 24 of The Secret Of Us

“Have you eaten?”

“I’m going to dinner in a bit.”

“Good. Make sure you take care of yourself.”

“I am,” I tell her. If taking care of myself means skipping lunch every day so I can hide away from everyone and avoid interactions with them as much as I can, then I’m doing a great job at it.

“And your sister? Is she settling in okay?” she asks, moving the phone closer to her face, concern clear in her eyes.

And that’s the exact reason why I can’t tell her how I’m truly feeling. Mina is top priority for all of us after what happened. As long as she’s happy here, I can suck it up for a year.

“She’s doing great,” I say, a smile appearing on both of our faces. “She’s already got so many new friends.”

“Good,” she says, nodding slowly, almost as if she’s reassuring herself.

We’re silent for a moment and an uneasy feeling creeps up my spine, like I can tell she’s going to bring up something I don’t want to talk about. I interrupt her before she gets a chance.

“Are you coming to the talk next week?” I ask her, referring to the evening that all the parents have been invited to discuss university options. I already know which ones I’m applying to, and there’s never been a question of what I’d study, either. But maybe it’s a chance for my parents to be in the same room and actually talk to each other again.

“I’ll be there,” she reassures me. “Your Appa will, too.”

“He told you?” I try not to let the surprise show on my face. I know they must communicate with each other in some form, but knowing they’ve been talking while Mina and I aren’t at home gives me some hope.

“We both got the email. He told me you haven’t been speaking to him either,” she says, calling out the way I’ve been ignoring both of them.

“I don’t know what to say to him,” I confess. The only question I have for him is why he left us, but I know I won’t be able to handle whatever the answer is.

“Just let him know you’re okay,” she asks of me, and I nod, all words leaving me.

A knock at the door saves me before I can let the guilt of disappointing both of them drown me.

“Someone’s here. I’ll talk to you later, Eomma.”

“I love you.” She presses a kiss to her fingers before waving them at me. It’s something she did when I was younger. I cried a lot when I first started attending school because I didn’t want to leave her and she would always blow me a kiss through the window. My chest constricts, and I hope she can’t see my chin tremble.

“You, too,” I tell her, the words coming out choked.

I hang up, throwing my phone back onto my desk. I take a few calming breaths, not wanting to cry in front of whoever’s at my door. I shake my head, tell myself to get it together as I go to my door and open it. Mina stands there, bouncing on her toes.

“Eomma said I had to make sure you ate dinner. Let’s go.”

“When did she even—?” I turn around to glance at my phone on my desk before looking back at Mina. “I was just talking to her.”

“She called me first because I’m her favourite.” She grabs hold of my arm. “Come on, I’m starving.”

I’m out the door before I have a chance to protest. Mina holds on tight to my arm as if I’d run away from her, and I can feel my circulation being cut off.

On the walk to the dining hall, Mina fills me in on all the gossip that seems vitally important to her and the other twelve-year-olds she shares a class with. I ask all the right questions to keep her talking, content to just let her speak. I haven’t seen her this happy in a long time.

Mina doesn’t seem to notice the glares shot my way, and I’m glad. I can see her enjoying the rest of her school years here, and I don’t want to ruin that for her. My biggest hope is that she’s too young to avoid hearing what the people in my year are saying. But I know this school is small, and word can spread quickly. I want to protect her from my problems for as long as I can.

When we make it to dinner, the room is pretty packed. I’m scouting for a table Mina and I can sit at when she scares me by squealing.

“What happened?” I look down at her and then around her to figure out why she made that noise.

“My friends are there!” She raises her hand in the air, standing on her tiptoes as she waves her arms. “Bye!”

She hurries away before I can say anything. I tilt my head back, closing my eyes as the sound of hundreds of students chatting overwhelms me. I could leave now, go back to my room, and hide away again.

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