Page 107 of The Secret Of Us

“Josh is around the corner,” Chloe says as she types on her phone.

The two staying together once school ended surprised me and Amelia. I had the weird idea that once my friends moved away, they’d forget everything about their lives before university. I figured Chloe would break up with Josh and that they’d both leave me behind, too. But they’ve constantly shown up for me. They were both at the airport when I decided to come back home and welcomed me with open arms. They showed up on my first day of work so I wouldn’t be nervous, and have made it part of their schedules to visit me at least once a month.

We continue catching up, filling each other in on what’s been going on in our lives since we last met up. Josh joins us a couple of minutes later, dropping a quick kiss to the top of Chloe’s head before he sits next to me.

“Ladies, how are we all doing?” he says, a wide smile on his face. “Have we heard the good news?”

“What news?” Amelia asks him.

“About Noah? He’s coming back from Korea next week.”

My heart drops into my stomach, all the air leaving my lungs when I hear his name.

“Stand up now,” Chloe whisper-yells at Josh.

“I just got here.”

“Joshua, get up now or I’m breaking up with you.”

He stands up immediately, and she drags him outside before I can even catch my breath again.

“Izzy,” Amelia says, moving to sit next to me. “Are you okay?”

A million thoughts are running through my mind, but the biggest one is, why didn’t he tell me? He’s coming back, and the realisation hits me that I didn’t even know he left. I haven’t known a single thing that he’s done in the past year. He hasn’t said a word to me, no messages, calls, letters, or anything to tell me how he is. But he told Josh. He must have been speaking to him this whole time if he’s letting Josh know that he’s coming back.

Did I really mean that little to him?

“Izzy, you meant a lot to him. You still do,” Amelia says, and I’m not sure when I started speaking aloud.

“Then why didn’t he tell me he was coming back?” I ask her, knowing that she doesn’t have the real answer either. I just need some explanation for why he told someone that wasn’t me.

“He’s probably getting ready to tell you, but that idiot has a big mouth. You and Josh had completely different relationships with him. It was probably easier for him to tell Josh before he told anyone else. And I doubt Noah would send that in a text after you haven’t spoken for so long. Just give him a little more time.”

What she’s saying makes sense, and I believe it, too. But a part of me still wishes we hadn’t gone so long without talking. That we could have kept in contact, and I would have found out directly from him.

“Do you really think so?” I ask her, wanting to hear it again.

I need the reassurance that he’ll find me again. But I’m also worried about what seeing him will do to me. I’ve just about managed to figure out what I want to do for the next few years at least, but if he comes back, will that change? Noah coming back can’t be anything but life-altering for me.

“I do,” she tells me. “And I know you’ve already waited so long, but I think you should trust in the Noah you knew before he left.”

She’s right. This is the same boy who came to see me just to explain why he was leaving because he knew it wasn’t something that should happen over a phone call. The same boy who opened himself up to me when it was so clear from the first day that he wanted to avoid doing anything like that. He’s the same boy who folded fifteen paper stars and hung them from the lid of a box so I’d have my own personal constellation to look at whenever I wanted.

I nod as Amelia runs a hand across my back to comfort me. Noah said he would come back to me when he was better, and I still believe that. I’d like to think that I’m better too.

Apart from this small moment of insecurity, I’ve become more reassured in the decisions I make for myself. I don’t regret coming back home, working at this cafe, or still living with Isaac and Violet. I have people around me who love me and accept me for all my mistakes and flaws, as well as my accomplishments, however minimal they might be to others.

Noah helped me get there. He helped me figure out what options were available to me once school ended, reassuring me that quitting hockey was okay if I didn’t like it anymore. He encouraged me to make decisions that made me happy without worrying about what other people think. And I still hold that close to my heart.

When Noah comes back to me, I can’t wait to tell him all of this. And even after all this time, I know he will.

39

NOAH

Josh

Sorry again for ruining the surprise

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