He flinches. But he doesn't move. Doesn't meet my eyes. And I know now that I'm truly alone. My stomach sinks, something inside me cracking open. Not from pain. Not from fear. But from pure, gut-wrenching realization.
I never had a family here. I was never one of them. I was just something to be used. And now, discarded. I knew it before, too, of course, but I just kept lying to myself. For years. So that I could survive with my mind in one piece. So that I could feel like at least I belonged somewhere. But now, it's really the end.
Jinx crouches beside me again, his fingers twisting in my hair.
"You see that, sweetheart?" His breath is hot against my cheek.
"Not a single one of them is gonna help you."
He leans closer.
"Because you were never worth saving."
Darkness. That's all there is. It presses against me, fills my lungs, settles into the cracks of my soul. I can't remember the last time I slept. The last time I ate. The last time my stomach wasn't a twisting pit of agony.
Four days. I think it's been four days. I don't know anymore. All I know is the ache in my bones, the hunger clawing at my insides, the chains digging into my wrists. The mattress beneath me smells like cigarettes, sweat, and the ghost of every woman who was here before me.
I try to turn onto my side, but the chain clinks against the metal bedpost, keeping me exactly where Jinx wants me. Like a dog. Like a fucking pet.The walls of his room are too close, the air too stale, and my body too empty. I press my forehead against the pillow, sucking in shallow, rattling breaths.
I should be fighting. I should be clawing, screaming, finding a way out. But there's nothing left in me. Not anymore. I squeeze my eyes shut, tears slipping free despite myself. I don't cry for the pain. Or the hunger. Or the certainty that I will die here. I cry for the man who put me here.
Bones.
His name is a curse, a prayer, a wound that won't close. I loved him. I fucking loved him. I gave him everything. Every piece of me, every broken, trembling, hopeful part of me. And he gave me to this.
To Jinx.
To hell.
A choked sob rips through me, my body trembling from more than exhaustion. I thought I was safe. I thought Bones loved me enough to trust me. I thought love meant something.
I press my face deeper into the pillow, but it doesn't smell like him. No leather. No whiskey. No heat. Just dust and filth and the rotting stench of betrayal.
I remember his hands on me, slow and reverent. The way he'd trail his fingers down my back, like he was memorizing me. The way his voice would drop low when he called mebaby. The way he told me his real name and wanted me to keep calling him Bones anyway because he liked the way I said it.
But none of that mattered in the end. Not when I needed it to. Not when I was begging for him to listen. I see his face in my mind, stone-cold, merciless, staring down at me while the tattoo gun carvedTRAITORinto my skin. I feel the sting, the burn, the finality of it. I sob harder, hating myself for missing him. For still aching for the man who broke me.
The chain rattles as I curl into myself, my body folding inward, smaller and smaller, as if I can disappear into nothing. Maybe that would be better. Maybe that would be easier. Because I can't do this anymore. I don't want to do this anymore. I thought I was strong. I thought I could survive anything. But I was wrong.
Bones was wrong.
He thought I was a liar, a spy, a traitor. But the truth is? I was just a stupid girl, never strong enough to survive him. And I won't survive this, either.
I let my eyes drift closed, tears slipping into the pillow. Let Jinx do what he wants. Let the hunger eat me from the inside out. Let my body fade, break, disappear. Because the last person I loved killed me long before this.
7. Dead
Ely
The first thing I feel is the cold. It seeps into my bones, wrapping around me like a second skin, numbing everything but the dull, pulsing ache radiating from every inch of my body. My throat burns, raw and open, every shallow breath slicing through me like broken glass.
I don't know how long I've been lying here. Does it even matter? The road beneath me is rough and unforgiving, the grit of gravel biting into my skin, the weight of my own body too heavy to move. I can hear the distant rumble of an engine fading into the night, the last remnants of Jinx and whatever sick pleasure he got from dumping my body here. He thought I was dead. He didn't want to keep me anymore because I was "dirty", because I gave myself to Bones. It's better I die here. I hope I die here. Death is better than that monster.
I blink up at the sky, the stars nothing but blurred streaks through the haze of pain and exhaustion. The world tilts, the edges of my vision dimming, the ground beneath me pulling me under. I don't fight it. There's nothing left to fight for. No one coming for me. No one left who cares.
Bones made sure of that.
A broken sob bubbles up in my chest, but it barely makes a sound. My throat is too raw, the wound Jinx carved into me too deep. I can feel the sticky warmth of blood pooling beneath me, soaking into the dirt, into my clothes, staining my skin with the final proof of my existence. I want to move. I want to crawl away, but my limbs won't listen.