Page 168 of Traitor

"They were drunks. Both of them. Alcoholics, through and through. I was thirteen. Had to learn fast. Cooking for myself, getting myself to school, cleaning. They didn't give a shit about anything but their next bottle. But at least they left me alone. It could've been so much worse. And for that, I was grateful. They got their check, I got a place to sleep. Even if it was a hellhole. Even if all I ate was canned soup and ramen noodles."

My voice drops lower.

"At least they didn't beat me. Unlike the last place I came from."

I finally turn my head, meeting Bones' eyes.

And it wrecks me.

Because he looks like he wants to take every single thing I just said and rip it apart with his bare hands.

Like he's mourning the little girl I used to be.

Like he wants to burn the entire world down for her.

But I have to go on.

"I was fifteen when I met Lucas. Four years older than me, confident, smooth-talking. He had that reckless kind of charm, the kind that draws you near. He fed me tales of his club — hisfamily— brothers bound by loyalty, living by their own rules. And I ate up every fucking word."

"He started bringing me around the clubhouse, and I liked it. Of course I did. I was fifteen, and that's exactly when all that bad boy bullshit starts getting into your head. The thrill, the danger — it felt intoxicating. I didn't stop to think that maybe a fifteen-year-old girl had no place surrounded by a bunch of grown men. Not like that. Not in their world. But they welcomed me in, made me feel like I belonged. They taught me how to smoke, put drinks in my hand, let me stay up until morning, laughing, feeling like I was someone. The club girls dressed me up in tight clothes, curled my hair, told me I was pretty. I was over the fucking moon."

I feel the lump in my throat growing. Bones doesn't rush me. He just sits there, solid, unmoving, his arm still wrapped around my shoulders like a lifeline. Grounding me. Keeping me steady.

"I was seventeen when I first met Jinx." The words leave me in a whisper, like saying them too loud will bring him back to life. "He creeped me out from the start. Something about him just felt... off. But by then, I was already in too deep with the Crimson Riders. I thought they were my family. I thought they'd protect me."

I huff out a humorless laugh. "So fucking stupid."

Bones' grip tightens around me, like he wants to squeeze the past right out of me. His voice, when he speaks, is low, steady. "You weren't stupid, baby. You were a kid. They knew exactly what to say, what to do, to make sure you never left. And that fucker? He was probably watching you long before you even realized it."

I stiffen, my breath catching. "I never thought about that." A sick feeling curls in my stomach. "You might be right."

I inhale deeply and then exhale slowly. My body shudders, and Bones pulls me in closer. He doesn't say anything. He just holds on, like he already knows what's coming next.

My voice barely makes a sound, but I force the words out. "Since I turned eighteen, for five years...he raped me."

The weight of it is suffocating, pressing on my chest like a slow, crushing force. "I never went to the cops. I was too ashamed. And even if I had… I didn't think anyone would believe me over him." My voice is just a breath, but somehow, it still feels too loud. "They called me a club girl, but I only belonged to him. His to use. I had to pretend it was okay. Tell myself that I wanted it. Every day. So I wouldn't break. So I could survive. So I could fight. I did what I had to do."

I swallow hard, my throat burning. "I let him take me without protest. I..." I shut my eyes for a second, trying to hold myself together. "I fucked him. I didn't scream. I didn't cry. Because I wanted to live." I take a shaky breath, my voice sharp as a blade. "That is still rape, Bones."

His entire body locks up beside me. "Of course it fucking is!" His voice is a growl, raw and furious. His breathing is rough, harsh, like he's fighting against the rage clawing up his chest.

I lean into him more because I need the weight of something solid to keep me from slipping away into the past. "Whenever he sensed hesitation from me, he beat me black and blue. He'd put a gun to my head and tell me that next time he'd riddle my brain with bullets. So I tried to keep him happy. Keep him from using his fists. From killing me. All while trying to figure out a way to escape."

"I tried running tens of times before I actually had the courage to go through with it. But then… I finally did it. And when I ran, I ran straight to the Vultures."

"If I had any other option — if I had money, if I had someone to help me — I wouldn't have gone to you. I wouldn't have run to another MC. But I didn't have anywhere else to go. So I chose you because Jinx was fucking terrified of you guys. I knew he wouldn't come for me on your turf."

I scoff, shaking my head. "But I was too naive. I didn't know everything. That night at dinner, when I drugged your lasagna"— I flick my eyes up at him, arching a brow —"you told me the Riders had already tried to infiltrate your club. But I didn't know that. No one told me shit at their clubhouse. I heard enough to piece together what they did for business, but I had no idea what kind of war was brewing. I just knew Jinx would never step foot into Vultures territory because I could see the fear in his eyes every time your club came up."

I exhale slowly. "He fucking shivered every time. And I was right. He never came himself. But he sent Tisha."

A shiver crawls down my spine. "With a diabolical plan. She was supposed to test the waters. See if you knew who I was. And when she was fairly sure you didn't, their plan was set in motion. Even if you would've killed me that night, he still would have counted it as a win."

I turn to Bones, meeting his eyes. They're darker than I've ever seen them. Haunted. Violent. A raging storm.

"Because that's the kind of monster he was."

He is shaking beside me. I can feel the fury radiating off him, rattling through his muscles like he's barely holding himself together.

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