Page 153 of Traitor

And I'm still destroying.

Still stupid.

Because I need to face the truth. Just like Jinx, I'm also one of her monsters. I keep sticking to her, clawing at the past, hoping to drag some sliver of the good we had back into the light. But I'm only bringing back bad memories and pain. I hoped the good memories were stronger than the bad. But I'm not so sure anymore. Not after today. Not after watching her break.

She doesn't deserve to keep being reminded. She deserves to move on. To heal. I thought I could do that for her. But once again, I was too stubborn to see how stupid that thought really was.

The sound travels in the air between us, soft, sad. Like it's mourning the death of us.

I glance up at her, and fuck, she's crying. Silent tears. Slow, aching drops sliding down her cheeks.

The last note leaves the chords and dies in the air.

Her eyes stay locked on my hands, watching the way they still rest on the guitar, how my fingers tremble.

My voice breaks the quiet.

"I've really lost you forever, haven't I?" Something lodges in my throat.

She doesn't answer. Doesn't even look at me.

Then, after what feels like a lifetime, she turns in bed, her back to me.

I hear her whisper, "Come and hold me, Bones."

For one second, I can't move. It feels like the end.

Then I put the guitar down, cross the room, slide into the bed, and wrap myself around her like she's the only thing keeping me breathing.

I fall asleep with her in my arms.

And when I wake up in the morning, she's gone.

Taking my heart with her.

28. Funeral

Bones

I'm drinking. Haven't stopped since the morning I woke up alone in my bed. No Temper.

A week. It's been a fucking week.

I haven't gone to her. I won't.

She doesn't need protection anymore. And she sure as hell doesn't need me. Hasn't needed me for four fucking years. Because the last time she did? I turned my back on her. No, worse. I betrayed her. I branded her. I broke her.

I see it now. We were over that night. The moment I made my choice, it was done. I was just too fucking stupid to accept it. Still holding on to the good, ignoring the bad. Like a stubborn fucking fool.

So I stopped.

No more gifts.

No more texts.

No more chasing.

I promised her I'd do anything to stop the bleeding of her wounds. And now I know. The only way to do that... is to stay the fuck away. Let her move on. Without my shadow darkening her life.

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