Page 38 of Pick Me

“Ah, okay. Makes sense why you’re wearing that, then.”

I could feel it. Her eyes roaming the parts of my body which weren’t covered by my bikini, monitoring every wobble as I moved. I knew what they thought of me. The suggestion I sit on a washing machine while it was on so they could mark every part of me that jiggled came to mind. Something I tried to forget about because I knew Tanner would go ballistic if he found out about it. I hated how she made me feel, but I refused to be owned by her.

“Can’t fake tan without a little flesh on show,” I said, hoping I sounded confident as I strolled to my door.

“Why are you bleaching your mustache at the same time, then? Feels a little counterintuitive, don’t you think? Maybe you should consider dermaplaning. It’d be more effective and has the added benefit of removing the fluff all over your chin.”

Jackson, the baseball cap wearing idiot, was too busy looking at the floor to tell his love interest for the night to back off, and my bravado shriveled. I had no ounce of dignity left, so I might as well answer the question.

“I don’t tan my face because I use foundation for that, and I always break out with dermaplaning.”

Why was I explaining myself to this woman? I shook my head and stomped to my room. It was my own fault I was here, stuck rooming with my twin brother and his teammate, but I thought we’d planned everything out. Tonight was supposed to be my night at home. I didn’t need anyone walking in on me like this.

“Explains the neck lines and peach fuzz, then,” Grace said just as I slammed my door shut and dropped all of my belongings on the floor.

I exhaled slowly, then rested my head against the wood as I closed my eyes.

Fucking embarrassed wasn’t even close to how I felt right now. Grace was a queen bee at the sorority. Everyone listened to her, and she always had the best gossip. I was already an outcast, and I had no doubts that everyone would know about this encounter by morning.

“What is wrong with her?” Grace asked Jackson, and my heart thumped loudly. I should walk away from the door and put my headphones on, but I didn’t. Some sick part of me wanted to hear it. Ineededto hear it. And that was what was wrong with me. I was always looking for reasons for people to hate me because it acted as confirmation as to why I hated myself so much.

“Come on, Grace. Let’s go.”

Jackson didn’t answer, but that told me enough. He agreed, and he didn’t think it was worth discussing.

“What? You’re just going to ignore my question as though you don’t live with the biggest pick-me girl on campus? I mean, come on, she’s such a loser. She tried to burn down the entire sorority because she was upset we were all prettier than her.”

That was it. That was all I needed to hear to justify all the self-hate I had inside me. She was right. I was terrible, but I wasn’t a pick-me. How could I be when no one wanted me?

Grossed out by my now streaky and too-orange tan, I shuffled over to the bed, not caring that my sheets would be ruined. Not like any guy wants to come near me anyway. I only got a date with Henry because he was desperate. There was nothing special about me. I had no doubts that if any other girl even looked his way, he’d drop me in a heartbeat.

When I heard Jackson’s door shut, I knew I was in for a long night. This was what I was trying to avoid with the schedule, but as usual, Jackson acted as though rules didn’t apply to him.

Maybe they didn’t.

I quickly put my headphones on and turned my music up, refusing to listen to Jackson having a good time with a girl who was out to get me. I shouldn’t expect any loyalty from him. He was my brother’s teammate and my roommate, but that was as far as our comradery went, so it was no surprise that he’d sleep with someone who despised me so much.

Pulling the covers over my body, I lifted my knees to my chest, hugging myself to keep me from crying to sleep. She wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t either. I was better than them and what happened to me, even if sometimes I didn’t feel it.

Chapter Ten

Jackson

When I turned on my heel to leave, Grace stood there staring at me with a tapping toe. I inwardly cursed myself. Messaging her was the biggest mistake of my life. Did I really think she’d be able to get my mind off the crushed girl in her bedroom?

“Where are you going?” Grace asked. Her voice was pointed, and I could tell she had her nose tipped without looking.

“I thought we’d leave and give Thea some privacy.”

I came waltzing in here with a girl, hoping I’d stop thinking about the one I wanted. I knew she’d be home, but I didn’t expect to find her flaunting her perfect body around the apartment. Fuck. My brain was fried for her. That bikini made her tits look amazing, and it almost felt like she did it on purpose.

Had Britt told her this was my plan, and she was hell-bent on stopping it?

I let out an annoyed breath before strolling over to my bed, sitting down, and leaning my back against the headboard. Grace, unfortunately, didn’t take the hint and followed behind me.

“Now, where were we?” she asked, plopping herself on my lap without asking if it was okay. I raised my hands when she tossed her gray sweater across the room, leaving her in a pair of purple leggings and a matching bralette.

She looked cute, but she was no Thea. Thea’s curves were deadly, and I wanted a lethal dose.

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