It was all because of me, and I wasn’t sure if he hadn’t said anything to save my dignity or his. Maybe it was a little of both.
“Don’t talk to her,” Tanner snapped, glaring at his friend with more anger than I’d ever seen before. The only other time he looked like that was when… well, when one of his teammates tried to sexually assault me.
I squeezed Tanner’s hand, directing his attention away from Jackson. “Calm down, T. It’s okay. I’m okay.”
“No, you’re not, and don’t try to make me feel better about the situation when you’re lying in a hospital bed, bandaged up to your eyeballs. That idiot nearly killed you with his reckless driving, and he’ll be lucky if we don’t press criminal charges against him.”
“Criminal charges?” I whispered, looking at Jackson in surprise. His lips were flat, but I could see the tic in his jaw. This was serious. “He didn’t hit anyone, though. How could he face criminal charges?”
“He hurt you, Thea. I promised you I’d never let something like senior year happen again, and here we are.” He swallowed, looking at the floor but not at me. My stomach twisted, the memory becoming all too real. The situations weren’t the same, and I needed Tanner to see that.
“Jackson didn’t hurt me. I did this.” I shook my head, making the pain worse, which I couldn’t show, in fear Tanner would blow up at Jackson again.
“Let’s all just calm down,” Aster said, stepping a little closer to us. Her voice was like a soothing tide between my brother and me. “I think it’s important we focus on the fact that Thea is awake now. I’m sure your parents would like to hear about that.”
The room fell silent for a few seconds. I was bursting at the brim, wanting to say something and defend Jackson. He started speaking before I could.
“I’m sorry, Tanner.” Jackson’s voice was low, but everyone in the room heard it. “I was distracted. I’ve taken full responsibility and already told the cops when I talked to them.”
“Cops? You spoke to the cops already?” I asked in shock. How long had I been asleep?
“He did, and they did a breathalyzer which confirmed he wasn’t drunk,” Aster added, glaring at Tanner, who grumbled in response. “They’re looking into issues with the car now. Let’s just focus on the fact that both Thea and Jackson are okay.”
“Okay?” Tanner laughed bitterly. “You think this is okay? My sister has a concussion and a ripped shoulder all because my idiot roommate can’t get his life together.”
Idiot roommate?
“Hey, wait a minute,” I interrupted, pulling my hand away from my brother. “That’s not fair. Jackson’s not an idiot. He might do stupid things from time to time, but this was my fault.”
“How?” Tanner’s brows knitted together, and his eyes searched mine, waiting for an answer.
“Um.” I looked at Jackson, not wanting to lie but unsure of how to tell Tanner the truth without telling him the truth. No brother wanted to know when you had their friend’s dick in your mouth. Tanner shook his head, anger bouncing off his body until Aster’s hand rested on his forearm.
“Tanner,” Aster’s voice was low, and made Tanner stop in his tracks, “hear them out.”
“How did I not see this sooner?” He looked between the two of us. He’d put something together, but I wasn’t sure what. “You were yelling at each other like you always do, right? Screaming to the point that Jackson couldn’t concentrate.”
I glanced at Jackson. Was this close enough to the truth that we could keep him thinking like that? “I should have known better than to trust you two to make it one car ride without trying to kill each other.”
No. I couldn’t lie to my brother. Not after everything we’d been through. After everything he’d helped me with over the years.
With my eyes closed, I said, “We weren’t yelling.” My heart was beating erratically. I knew what I had to do, even though I didn’t want to. “It was all my fault.Iwas distracting Jackson. The accident was my fault.”
Swallowing, I could almost taste the tension in the room as Aster and Tanner listened closely. My head hurt again, and I wished I could blame it on the injury, but I knew it was because what was about to come out would be worse than anything I’d ever had to admit to before.
“What were you doing to distract him, Thea?” Tanner asked.
“Umm.” Answering with the full truth would help no one. “I’m dating Jackson.” There, that sounded better than “I was sucking him off.”
“Wha—” Tanner’s eyes darted between my beau and me as he processed the information. “You’re dating?” Confusion laced his voice, and when he looked at me, I didn’t need to say a word. Our twin telepathy confirmed it. He knew. “You’re fucking kidding me?” He laughed bitterly, shaking his head. “You were screwing him while he was driving?”
I’d never been more embarrassed in my life than hearing Tanner say those words. “Not exactly,” I whispered.
It took him a moment to get it, and I knew the minute he did. “No, Thea. Please don’t tell me you were doingthat?”
I cringed. There was no way around it. I’d left enough breadcrumbs that he’d figured it out without explicitly saying it.
“Look, the important thing to understand is it’s all my fault. This is not Jackson’s fault at all.”