Page 88 of Brace and Chase

Thank God she sent me that weird message yesterday. I even talked about it with Nikolay, how unnecessary it felt for her to let me know she’d be here for tonight’s game as well as Sunday’s against Atlanta.

I am grateful for how she and the team have rallied around me in preparation for our game against my old team, but I never expected the owner of my team to text me about her whereabouts.

I hurry to hand my valet ticket over so hopefully I can get my ass back to the house ASAP.

To say I have some explaining to do would be a fucking understatement.

I’m blaming abject terror and sticking with it when the time comes to talk to Nik about it.

My car is brought up then and I get in quickly, tipping the valet generously. I peel out of there, willing traffic to be on my side so I’ll have some time to talk to Nikolay before we need to get to the arena.

Now that I’m finally alone—something I haven’t been in a month now—I can hear my thoughts, and it’s like that moment when you jump into a pool and it’s the perfect temperature.

Could it be that Nik and I have just been too close for too long?

Do we need to have a bit more space between us?

I don’t actually want that, I’m pretty sure, since my hands tighten on the steering wheel at the thought.

I park the car, still having no clue what the conversation with Nik will be like. It’s going to be tough, though, I know that much.

“Nik,” I call out as soon as I cross the threshold.

“In the kitchen,” comes his deep voice. I find him standing by the sink, pouring our protein shakes into the two tumblers we always use.

I stand there and watch him focus on the task, his arms moving slowly but without hesitation. The way his bicep pops just a little reminds me of how he woke me up. His words this morning... I still want him to do dirty, dirty things to me even though I fucked up and then he fucked up thanks to my fuck up.

Well, if we’re getting technical, the reason I fucked up is becausehefucked up a week ago and has had me feeling all kinds of shitty ever since.

But that’s neither here nor there.

“I’m sorry,” I say simply. He clearly hears me, since he puts the blender down and leans his palms on the counter, hanging his head.

“Me too.” He speaks so quietly I barely hear it. “I wanted to make a joke. I never meant to insult your brother.”

I have to swallow hard to get rid of the rock lodged in my throat.

“I’m just protective over him,” I explain lamely.

An adorable snort comes out of him and he shakes his head but doesn’t say anything else. I guess it’s my turn to explain myself, even though I have no idea how I could possibly do that.

“I haven’t told anyone about you,” I start, stating the obvious, and curse myself for it. “I just felt panic this morning.” That’s better. “I have no idea why it was so strong, but I panicked, and since last week—” I stop myself.

I control my actions.

I’m the one who’s swallowed their doubts and fears all week, he didn’t make me do that. My reaction this morning wasn’t his fault. At least not entirely.

He winces, though, and I feel like the biggest piece of shit in the world.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper again. What else can I say?

It takes him a moment, but eventually he turns to me and looks a lot more settled than I feel.

“Everyone who I consider family is in the team or part of it. I can’t tell anyone, sweetheart. But you have this whole family who, from everything you’ve told me, would be perfectly fine if they found out you were with a man. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think they’d care that I’m also your teammate.”

“No, they wouldn’t care. They’d be happy, actually,” I whisper truthfully.

Michelle and Kelly come to mind in that moment, and I realize he’s right, but...

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